Moms. They can be totally awesome, totally awkward and totally hard to get along with! Now, my mom and I can be the best, best of friends. At other times it can feel like two lionesses prowling around the house! Come August, it will be 20 years since the day I was born and met my mother… And I can’t tell you how thankful and grateful I am to call her mine. She’s everything I hope and wish to be when I am married and mothering my children. In fact, everything I write comes from the wisdom I gained as having Erin Hallahan as my mom. I owe it all to her and God!
That being said, this article is for young women (like myself) who love their moms but have a rough time getting along with or coping with their moms.* (Yes, moms, daughters need help coping with you!) I know it’s not Mother’s Day and that you probably don’t want to hear another sermon on respecting your elders but we need to know this about the other species: Mother Dear (or was it Mother Bear?) Here are five things to keep in mind the next time you are upset with your mom.
1. Once Upon a Time, Mom Had a Life Too!
This may be hard to believe, but one time, our moms were just like us. Going through the same things we go through now. Doubts about their looks, doubts about boys, and about their future all crossed their minds. They had friends that they wanted to hang out with, they had boys they were attracted too, and they had bedrooms to clean! I guess what I’m trying to say is that our moms have been there and done that. They are so much smarter than we like to give them credit for. Of course they make mistakes; but just like us, they learn from them. When moms learn from mistakes they take that wisdom and try (sometimes in peculiar ways) to pass it on to us so that we don’t fall flat on our faces. Remember that our moms are the ones raising us. They take the responsibility for our good and bad actions. When she tries to teach us something, take into consideration that she has probably 99.999 percent of the time, already gone through a similar situation. Oh, and shes older than you! (I had to throw that at you just once)
2. Mom, Regardless of Her IQ, Has A Lot Going On!
She may seem a little scatterbrained at times, but your mom has more responsibilities than you could even fathom. Just to give you an idea, I asked my mom all the thoughts that run through her mind on a moment by moment basis. Now my mom is the wife of a disabled husband, home-school mom of 7 (although 2 are graduated) and former CEO which now means shes the business consultant of our family operated small business. This may not be like your mom, but generally, all moms think this way to some extent. So picture this going on inside of your head all day: What do I make for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Teaching school to the kids, the kids personal life, the kids walk with the Lord, my husband, his work, his health, his walk with the Lord, laundry needs to be switched and folded, projects around the house, trash, appointments, paying the bills, my kids future, cleaning the house, my walk with the Lord, my health, what I eat, and laundry again!
The above list is simply an example of what goes on inside my moms head. And who knows what order it goes in. I would like to challenge you to ask your mom the same question. “What are all the thoughts that run through your mind on a moment by moment basis?” And after hearing an answer it should give you some small dose of insight into her world. Hopefully this will infiltrate respect and honor for your mom the next time a cat fight arouses in the house!
3. Mom is Queen of the House-Sad But True!
Girls, your mom is the Queen Bee, the HOME MAKER, the Guard Dog, the Kitchen Pro, the Child Expert, Prime Minister, Manager, Superintendent, and the Head Honcho (under dad, but that’s for another article). Her title is not to be shared-with you. It doesn’t matter if she says Abraham Lincoln was the first president. You say YES MA’AM. I’m probably bursting so many bubbles right now but I’m sorry, your mom is your mom. I remember thinking to my self from when I was 13 till about a year ago that pretty much everything my mom said about me or anything at all was wrong. I could argue till my face was blue and still couldn’t be more wrong. But girls, because you were born from you mother, it doesn’t matter what she’s done or said, she deserves your respect. Are you 18? That doesn’t matter either. If you live in her house and she is feeding you, you are under her authority and under her care. It doesn’t matter how old you are or where your mother is right now, you are her daughter and she is still your mom. Treat her like it. (Don’t close down the browser! Hang in there with me! KEEP READING.)
4. God Has Given You to Your Mom-And No, He Doesn’t Make Mistakes.
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalms 139:13
God chose to send you to your mom for a reason. He knew that she would need you. As daughters we are responsible to care for, love, respect, and serve our moms in any way that they ask or in any way that we possibly can. It’s a duty that God has placed on children. Read through the old testament and follow the examples of the daughters and women that you read about. You will see that sons and daughters lived with their parents until marriage. Jesus was the perfect example of a respectful honorable son that took care of His mother till His dying breath. Pray that you do the same.
Your parents were appointed to watch over and care for you in the way that they see fit. This is one of my favorite verses regarding this topic: “Remember your leaders (or parents) who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith…Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.” Hebrews 13:7, 17
If you have trouble obeying your parents respectfully, pray and ask God to remove the root of pride in your heart and replace it with a desire to be the daughter that He desires you to be for your mom.
5. Your Mom Loves You!
We’ve gone over 4 things that you can remember when a gust of resentment towards your mom blows in through the window.
1. Mom has been there and done that-she knows what your going through and how to handle it.
2. She has a lot going on and bears a large amount of responsibility, she needs your help.
3. Mom is the head woman of the house, submit to her authority and honor her for it.
4. You are called to serve and obey your mom, regardless of justified excuses, you’re her daughter not vice-versa.
And the 5th reminder is that your mom loves you. God has placed an intuitive motherly love that is incomprehensible to the human mind into your mother. If we can simply remember this little known secret the next time we encounter some anger towards our mom, we should be able to lay our bitterness aside and lovingly accept anything our mom is trying to get across to us. LOVE conquers all. Love and be loved. Serve and be rewarded. Bless and be blessed. Our moms are capable of being the best of friends if we are willing to let them. Sit down to some tea with your mom. Ask her the proposed question in the #2 reminder above. Ask her what you can do to make her load a little lighter and laugh. Just spend some quality time laughing with your mom. It can heal the worst of relationships.
I will be praying for you! God bless,
*I’m assuming that all people who clicked to read this article have moms or someone like a mom to them. I’m writing this to them.*