A few days ago, my husband told me that my cooking and cleaning is his love language. “It just makes me so happy,” he explained. “When I get home and things are cleaned up, I think, ‘She must have been thinking of me today!'”
Who knew that these seemingly insignificant tasks could have such a profound impact on our spouses? No one told me that my husband would find it so romantic if I tried to make the house clean while he was gone, or if I simply cleaned up the supper dishes while he worked on his law school reading. No one told me that he would get giddy happy, exclaiming that I was a great wife, when I packed his lunch this morning.
I remember Nana telling me about how these things were important to Grandad as well. It was particularly important to him that dinner was ready when he got home. Of course, it couldn’t always be completely finished in time when there were other things to be done in the day, so Nana found a way to make sure Grandad felt loved in that area when he came home (even when she couldn’t have dinner ready by the time he walked in the door). Before he came home, she would set the table for dinner (plates, bowls, forks, spoons, etc.), even if she was just starting to cook it right then. It worked like a charm! He felt like she was making the effort for him, even though dinner wasn’t ready right at that moment.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but I think there’s more to this than that; it’s not all about the food. If I’m cooking my husband good enough meals, but letting myself and the house fall apart, that’s not saying “I love you” to him. It takes an effort in all of these areas. My husband feels the most loved when I work hard at all of these things.
(Now don’t get me wrong here; I’m not saying that he shouldn’t serve, keep his things picked up, or help out with the cleaning and cooking – he should – but even if he doesn’t, it’s no excuse for me to abandon my responsibility to serve.)
When he comes home, and there’s noticeable evidence that I’ve made the effort to serve for him, it makes him feel loved! It lets him know I’m thinking of him; it shouts “I love you!!” to him. What wife wouldn’t want to do that for her husband? To him, it’s the equivalent of bringing home flowers and a romantic card (and/or chocolate, for all of those chocolate lovers out there). Knowing this is fuel for me. It has enabled me to clean and cook more with the attitude of someone planning a romantic surprise or a date rather than doing it simply because “it needs to be done.”
Today, I’m excited that I get to romantically surprise my husband, beautify our home, and create a warm and relaxing place where he feels loved.
How about you? What are some things you’ve been able to do (or plan to start doing) in these areas to make your husband feel loved?