Cooking, Cleaning, & Romance

Cooking, Cleaning, & Romance


A few days ago, my husband told me that my cooking and cleaning is his love language. “It just makes me so happy,” he explained. “When I get home and things are cleaned up, I think, ‘She must have been thinking of me today!'”

Who knew that these seemingly insignificant tasks could have such a profound impact on our spouses? No one told me that my husband would find it so romantic if I tried to make the house clean while he was gone, or if I simply cleaned up the supper dishes while he worked on his law school reading. No one told me that he would get giddy happy, exclaiming that I was a great wife, when I packed his lunch this morning.

I remember Nana telling me about how these things were important to Grandad as well. It was particularly important to him that dinner was ready when he got home. Of course, it couldn’t always be completely finished in time when there were other things to be done in the day, so Nana found a way to make sure Grandad felt loved in that area when he came home (even when she couldn’t have dinner ready by the time he walked in the door). Before he came home, she would set the table for dinner (plates, bowls, forks, spoons, etc.), even if she was just starting to cook it right then. It worked like a charm! He felt like she was making the effort for him, even though dinner wasn’t ready right at that moment.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but I think there’s more to this than that; it’s not all about the food. If I’m cooking my husband good enough meals, but letting myself and the house fall apart, that’s not saying “I love you” to him. It takes an effort in all of these areas.  My husband feels the most loved when I work hard at all of these things.

(Now don’t get me wrong here; I’m not saying that he shouldn’t serve, keep his things picked up, or help out with the cleaning and cooking – he should – but even if he doesn’t, it’s no excuse for me to abandon my responsibility to serve.)

When he comes home, and there’s noticeable evidence that I’ve made the effort to serve for him, it makes him feel loved! It lets him know I’m thinking of him; it shouts “I love you!!” to him. What wife wouldn’t want to do that for her husband? To him, it’s the equivalent of bringing home flowers and a romantic card (and/or chocolate, for all of those chocolate lovers out there). Knowing this is fuel for me. It has enabled me to clean and cook more with the attitude of someone planning a romantic surprise or a date rather than doing it simply because “it needs to be done.”

Today, I’m excited that I get to romantically surprise my husband, beautify our home, and create a warm and relaxing place where he feels loved.

How about you? What are some things you’ve been able to do (or plan to start doing) in these areas to make your husband feel loved?


  • I love this! I find it so true with my husband!! I enjoy finding little ways to bless my husband with the keeping of our home- whether it be with laundry, cleaning, or cooking. It all blesses his heart!

  • I may sound like the random guy out in left field here on these ladies blogs, but I just wanted to let you know how amazing and encouraging it is to witness this especially as a single guy. This is my love language too, and it’s never been spoken to me by anyone. In a world where women no longer appreciate the act of service towards their husband, you are a breath of fresh air, and no doubt an absolute blessing to your husbands. Thank you for sharing this and for keeping my hope alive that God has an amazing woman out their who seeks to please Him in all that she does, especially at home.

    • Christy G. Peterson

      Thank you so much for your encouragement! It’s helpful for me to hear that from other points of view, especially that bit about it being a load taken off men’s shoulders. It’s not something we always realize! Thanks again for your comments.

  • If I may add just a bit more: it is such a relief for men who are primary providers to experience what you are doing for them. It is like a load is taken off our shoulders when we come home to a clean house and food, and are taken care of nutritionally throughout the day with a prepared meal so we don’t have to rush to find something to eat and spend money on it. Wow, y’all are awesome! Keep it up.

  • I hope to have this relationship with my wife whenever I get married.

  • Marlies

    I wish also to say “I love you too” to my husband by doing those things!! Hope that they will keep him happy and that he would appreciate it and thinking that I’m the best wife ever!! 🙂

  • Kaci Deane

    My husband is the same way! He loves coming home to a home cooked meal, clean house, & clean clothes. One of his favorite things is when I cook something new. Even if it doesn’t turn out that great, he truly appreciates the effort I went to to make something new. My husband farms, so in the busy seasons he’ll sometimes work 14+ hour days. I work 7:15-5:00 so I still have time to do stuff before he gets home. So, I also do the mowing and stuff like that. I have so many people ask why my husband “makes” me mow the yard. People, he doesn’t “make” me do anything. I do these things for him because he works hard and I love him. If I’m going out of town, I cook enough food to make sure he has something to eat for supper while I’m gone. My friends say I’m spoiling him, but that is how I serve my husband. By taking care of him. And he truly appreciates everything I do. And, in turn, he also takes care of me. I love being married!

    • Christy Grace Peterson

      I love your perspective on this, and I agree wholeheartedly!