How to Handle Your Desire for a Boyfriend

How to Handle Your Desire for a Boyfriend

{Guest Post by Bethany Baird}

Annie was twenty-two going on twenty-three, boyfriend-less and struggling to trust in God. She lived in a small town, worked at a small business and went to a small church. Let’s just say the male prospects in town were small as well.

The longing in Annie’s heart to finally meet and marry the man of her dreams was becoming overbearing. How could she possibly remain content in life when true love was nowhere on the horizon?

Although Annie’s heart longed for a guy, she made the tough decision to give her desires to God and wait patiently on His timing. Annie’s relationship status didn’t change right away, but her perspective and attitude towards her circumstances took on a whole new look. Annie went from being discouraged over her current guy circumstances, to believing that God truly had a plan for her love life.

“Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands.” -Elisabeth Elliot

Have you ever felt like Annie? I know I have. Sometimes I think, “I would be so much happier if I had a boyfriend.”  When I choose to dwell on that thought, I am basically telling God that His plan for my life isn’t cutting it. If only God would take some of my advice and give me a man, then I would be happy.

Yikes! I think it’s time we reminded ourselves of who God is and what He is about. My pastor sums it up with these four simple facts about God.

“God’s love is perfect. God’s wisdom is infinite. God’s control is sovereign. God’s goal is good.” -Bob Welch

Who better to trust with our love life than God? He loves us with a perfect love and sovereignly works all of life’s circumstances for good. He contains all wisdom and has a unique plan for each of our lives.

Why would we ever question such an incredible God?

He sees the future and knows who and what we need in our lives to help us glorify Him most.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

When it comes to having a guy in your life, you have to choose to do what Annie did. You have to share the desires of your heart with God and then leave it in His control. You have to trust that God knows you better than you know yourself, and in His perfect timing He will bring (or not bring) you a man.

“It is not always easy to feel like trusting God. But trusting Him is a matter of choosing to trust because of what we know, despite what we feel.” –Jerry Bridges

When you focus your thoughts on God’s perfect character, it makes trusting in Him a whole lot easier. If you continually keep your eyes focused on the truths of God’s Word, discouragement will have no room to creep in. As long as you are looking to Christ to bring you satisfaction, you will be filled with joy.

There are loads of girls around the world who do have boyfriends, yet many of them are still unhappy. Why? Because they are looking to a guy to make them content. No matter how incredible having a boyfriend may seem, he can never satisfy the deepest longings of your heart.

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst” (John 6:35).

Only Christ can satisfy your deepest desires.

I want to challenge you to write down that verse I quoted above (Psalm 84:11) and memorize it. The next time you are struggling to trust in God’s plan for your life recite that verse. Memorizing Psalm 84:11 and reciting it to myself has helped me a ton in my own life.

Find comfort in the promise that God will not withhold anything that He thinks would be good. After all He is the perfect, infinite, sovereign and good God. We can undoubtedly trust Him to give us what He knows is best, even in our love life.

Let’s talk about it…

  • Do you trust that God truly has a plan for your love life?
  • Are you tempted to believe the lie that a boyfriend can satisfy the deepest longings of your heart?
  • How can you find satisfaction in Christ alone?
  • Write down Psalm 84:11 and remind yourself of that truth anytime you feel depressed over your current circumstances.



Bethany writes with her sister Kristen for their online girls ministry called GirlDefined. You can visit them and check out a few of their posts as well! Say hello for us:

  • Thank you so much for this post! I really needed it today. 🙂

  • annieluh1

    Great post! I’m not longing for a boyfriend (I’m only 14), but this definitely applies to other areas of my life. Thanks!

  • Miriam

    I can definitely relate to this post. I am 24 and single. I am fully content and happy in where God has placed me in my life right now. But this kind of struggle is real. It eats away your joy and your peace when you allow the enemy to feed lies in your heart. There are days where I can’t seem to trust God to do His work in my life. Then I feel like I just want to jump into a relationship with the first guy that catches my eye, just to feed the longing in my heart. Christ is always enough. Only He can satisfy the longings of our hearts. Until then, I will patiently wait. Because I know He is writing one of the best love story ever told and it will be more than I could hope or imagine.

    • Grace Ann

      Amen Miriam! Same here. I am 24 as well & have never been in a relationship before. God has a good & perfect plan for your life sister 🙂 Keep growing in Christ and waiting on Him as you are doing. “Love is patient, Love is Kind” –1 Corinthians 13:4 <3

  • roanne

    Thanks for writing this.I’m 25, never had a boyfriend and I feel hopeless sometimes. Waiting is really hard but good things come to those who trust God.I’m so blessed and deeply encouraged by this post..God bless

  • bigcitydreamer

    This is so edifying, thank you!!

  • Rose Elizabeth

    Thanks for this encouragement. Thank you for your honesty and thoughts.