When I sat down to write this article my heart was breaking for the girls who have gone through a relationship and it never took flight but instead, devastatingly crashed into the ground. If you’ve recently experienced something like this there are a few things I would like to share with you to encourage and strengthen your heart.
When a relationship hits the rocks and your heart gets hurt, there is the unavoidable question that torments our minds, even though we are told otherwise by friends and family.
“What did I do wrong?”
There is something you need to know. You did not let the relationship fail! There is nothing that happens outside of God’s holy and perfect will. In other words, regardless of what you think you did that might have ended the relationship God was and still is in control. If the relationship was meant to be God would have worked it out for you even if you both made mistakes along the way. He is more powerful than we could ever think or imagine. If God wanted your relationship to last God would have worked out all the details and taught you both lessons and how to grow together through them.
You don’t have the power or capability to make or break a relationship. Only God does. No matter how hard you try, in the end, God will always have the last and final word about the relationship. All we can do is surrender our hearts, our desires, our plans and hopes and dreams to Jesus and trust that He works all things together for OUR GOOD. Including broken relationships. Jesus wants you to learn to trust Him with your whole heart, mind and soul. That’s what He wants you to learn through this time of healing and restoration.
By feeling guilty and shameful that you “let a relationship fail” you are actually thinking that you could have made the relationship work and that is pride. We can’t do anything outside of the sovereign will of Christ Jesus. It is not your fault and it is not the other person’s fault.
God brought you together for a season and now it is time to surrender the end of the relationship to God. By doing that you are falling totally in love with Jesus and saying that He is your joy, He is the ultimate source of happiness in your life and you trust your future to Him.
God doesn’t want you to feel condemned and scared. He wants you to thrive in the life He has given you. He wants you to live in the here and now, living day to day for the glorification of His name. We can only do this by accepting the Truth of His Word in our lives. Truth like the following verses:
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalms 103:11-12
I want you to know that it’s not your fault and you didn’t mess up anything. It was in God’s hands. He was probably either protecting you from a bad relationship or trying to teach you an important life lesson; these are lessons to bring into your next relationship, God willing. Maybe now you can look back and smile, knowing that God has a greater and more magical plan than you can ever think and imagine, knowing that your future is entrusted in the same hands that made you.
Another thing to understand while going through this hardship is that at the center of Jesus’ plan for your life is your happiness! All God has wanted for you and me ever since the beginning of time was our happiness and joy. In the Garden of Eden, God had a perfect plan that would let us enjoy Him and life in paradise forever and ever. But sin crept in and stole our joy. Satan has been out to destroy our happiness ever since. But God is fighting for us.
Sometimes it is hard to see that Jesus only wants our total happiness. He really does want what’s best for us even if we think we know what will make us happy. Jesus leads us down difficult paths or puts us in situations that we don’t understand. We can’t see what the outcome is and it scares us. Sometimes we even get mad at God. But in the long run, if we let God do His work in us by surrendering to His sovereign plan He will restore our joy. We can know that everything Jesus is doing in our lives is done for our good; whether we see it in this lifetime or not.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5-6
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8
This God–His way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30
I hope that these verses take hold of your spirit and reveal God’s heart to you. He loves you so much, dear one and so do I! Let me know if this has helped you in some way.
Stay strong, stay beautiful, stay in the WORD and God bless!