What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl

What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl

I recently did an interview on the topic of dating, marriage and courtship. I was giving my thoughts on romance, boundaries, guys and how I want my future relationship to work out.

One of the questions the lady interviewing me asked was “what qualities are you looking for in guy?” 

Talk about a super basic question that I should easily know the answer to. Wrong! I was totally caught off guard and had to scramble to give an answer. It had been awhile since I’d seriously thought through that question and wasn’t really prepared.

After the interview I rethought through her question and was pretty satisfied with my “on the spot” answer.

I told the lady that I was praying for a man who: 

1. Is concerned about glorifying God with his life.

2. Has an eternal mindset (not just living for the here and now.)

3. Loves children and desires a family.

4. Has a passion for ministering to the people around him.

My dream guy.

After stewing on that question for a few more days and thinking through my idea of a “dream guy,” I have a few things I need to say.

First let me ask you about your dream guy. If I were to ask you what qualities are you looking for in guy?” what would you say? I want you to stop reading this post, grab a piece of a paper and write down your answers.

Now let’s imagine that your “dream guy” is alive and living and currently looking for a wife. Remember this guy is godly, loves the Lord, loves his family, loves children, wants to serve God with his life and has a great relationship with God.

This awesome guy is looking in his church, looking in his community, looking at school, looking, looking, looking. He is looking for a woman who has a similar heart and passion as his own.

This type of guy is looking for a wife who:  

1. Is concerned about glorifying God with her life.

2. Has an eternal mindset (not just living for the here and now).

3. Loves children and desires a family.

4. Has a passion for ministering to the people around her.

You see where I’m going with this? 

I’m all for you having a list of the character qualities you are looking for in a future husband. I want you to be serious about the type of man you hope to marry someday. I hope you are WAY more concerned about finding a guy with godly character over a hot guy that’s just “okay” spiritually.

But I’m concerned.

I’m concerned that we aren’t the type of girl that a godly guy would choose. I’m concerned that a great, awesome, spiritually solid man would look around and then look right past.

A great guy wants a great girl. 

I don’t want a great guy to look past you or me. I want him to look at you and say, “Wow! That is the type of woman I want to marry. That is the kind of woman I want raising my children.”  A great guy is going to want a great girl. He is going to want to marry a woman who has similar spiritual qualities and passions as himself.

If a guy is passionate about spending time in God’s Word every day, why would he go for a girl who maybe reads her Bible once every couple of weeks?

If a guy loves his current family and has great vision for his future family, why would he go for a girl who can barely stand her family?

If a guy loves sharing the Gospel, why would he go for a girl who doesn’t see the need to do that?

Become the type of girl your dream guy would desire. 

I want you to grab that piece of paper you wrote on earlier and look through the qualities you wrote down. Do you have those same character qualities in your own life? Would that guy on your paper go for you?

I challenge you to tape that piece of paper to your bathroom mirror, or somewhere you will see it, and work on becoming that type of girl. Pray over that paper and ask God to make you a godly woman. Pray and ask God to help you build those very qualities in your own life.

For more ideas on how to apply this, check out my VIDEO “Praying For Your Future Husband.”

You can become the type of girl that a godly man is praying for. You can become a woman who is“worth far more than rubies.”  There are godly guys growing into godly men who will need godly wives. If not me and you then who? Let’s rise to the occasion girls.

Think about it…  

What qualities are on your list? Why are those important to you?

Would that type of guy desire a girl like you? Why?

How can you become the girl a godly man would be looking for?



 About the Author: Bethany writes with her sister Kristen for their online girls ministry c  called GirlDefined. You can visit them and check out a few of their posts as well! Say hello for  us: http://www.girldefined.com/

  • So true…we all need to better ourselves and change into the people whom our dream spouses would want to be dream spouses.

  • Jessica

    I love this way of thinking…focusing on BEING the right person, instead of just looking for the right person! Thanks for the inspiration! Merry Christmas! – Isaiah 9:6

  • Christina Woods

    Great post! I agree that as women we should not only require specific traits of our future husband but also pursue the same godly characteristics for ourselves. My one thought to add is: stay away from the mindset that you are “improving” yourself for your future husband and so that you can attract a godly man. You should be striving to become more godly to glorify God. As a result, a godly man will be more attracted to you but that isn’t the main reason that you are striving to be a godly woman. Keep God at the center! 🙂