How Do I Know He’s the ONE?

How Do I Know He’s the ONE?

Have you ever wondered what true, lasting love looks and feels like? Maybe you are in a relationship that you think is not “living up to its true potential”. Maybe you need an example of real love to know if this is the guy for you; if he is the one that God has called you to marry.

We know that no one is perfect but don’t let that be your excuse to stay in a relationship with someone who might not be the one for you. Here are just a few ways that you should be able to tell that this man truly, really loves you like Christ loved the church.

I believe everyone has one great love in their life; an unexplainable, undeniable, unrepeatable love that can only fall short of the ONE greatest act of true love that this world will ever witness (Jesus’ sacrifice of His life for yours). The man who captures your heart will know you and will know your soul and he will love every single thing about you.

Second to God, you should be everything to him; nothing else in the world besides Jesus and family should matter.

Not his job, not his friends, not his career, not his own accomplishments and hobbies, nothing else would come close to the joy that he would have if you were that one girl (though all of those things are very important he won’t be as concerned with them if he is truly, really, completely in love).

He would sacrifice these things to spend time with you, getting to know you, learning how to love you. Don’t just try to make it work with someone.

Love should not be forced or have to work hard at falling in love with another individual.

Don’t just do all the right things, say all the right words, and stay together in all the right ways. There must be a real and lasting FOUNDATION to your love.

Ask yourselves this question: Does he know me? Do I know him? And vice versa.

Someday, someone will come along and you will outright, unashamedly love that person.

He will make you forget about your present life and will sweep you off your feet. You will want to make a life together and you will be oblivious to everything that stands in the pathway of your love for each other. Everyone else around you will dim in comparison to seeing his face in the room. And you will not want to leave his side for a moment. And he will not leave yours.

You will love each other and no matter what life throws your way-it would be a small set back in the light of your love because you will have each other; and that would be enough.

You may think it’s impossible to feel that way for someone. You may think everything that I’ve just said is a silly fantasy and wishful thinking. But it’s not. God will bring this into your life if you fully surrender everything you have just to be His. You will fall in love with Jesus. And when you enter a relationship with the person of His dreams for you the two of you won’t ever want to stop talking about your love for each other and about the love of the One who brought you together.

It will be a 3 way relationship between you, your loved one, and Jesus Christ. Love will conquer any pit fall the devil sends your way. Love will overcome any difference or struggle between you and with other issues.

Your love for each other will be beyond priceless. It will be real, it will be stronger than anything else you’ve ever known, and it will be forever because Jesus was at the center of it all.

Most importantly, this young man and young woman who are together will be together under God. They will diligently lead each other’s hearts closer to the Heart of Jesus. They will not be selfish and spend time together solely for the purpose of “fun”. They will encourage one another to grow in the ways of the Lord.

God says he blesses those who love Him with good things-for the glorification of HIS name and for “His names sake” (PS. 23) He brings you into a good and healthy, godly relationship for a purpose just like He brings other things into your life for a purpose. And that purpose is always to bring glory to Him.

Will you bring Jesus glory through your relationship by honoring Him and the elders He’s placed in both of your lives? Always at the forefront of every godly relationship Jesus should come first and foremost in both of your lives. Though you are together you are to have your personal and private relationship with Jesus. Talk about your Savior when you are together and learn about Him together, yes. But always spend time alone seeking and putting God above everything in your life-including your loved one.

When you first became a Christian and were loyally, unregrettably tied to Eternity with your Savior you felt a fire in your heart. When you read about what Jesus did for you on the cross you feel an undefined gratitude and love for your sweet, sweet Jesus.

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

This is what real, true love feels like.

Romantic love for the earthly one your soul will find will only be an inkling of how much Jesus loves you.

We will never fully comprehend how much He loves us but we get a taste of it when we search for Jesus with all of our heart, soul and mind. And when we do this-HE will give us someone to share that love with.

Hopefully this will help you discern if the boy you love, really is the “ONE”. Compare the way he treats you to the way Jesus would treat you and ask yourself  if he shows you real Agape love.

Ready to answer some questions to put things into perspective? Great!

  • Have you ever felt loved with agape love from someone besides Jesus? If so who?
  • If you are in a relationship is it for the purpose of glorifying your Father in heaven?
  • Do you spend time in prayer and worship together?
  • Will you give up idols so that only Jesus remains? Are you willing to do this?
  • Have you ever experienced Gods love in your life? If so, tell us about it!

I look forward to reading your replies! Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless!

Lisa Sig.1



  • Leah Letchworth

    even after a horrible marriage ended in divorce….how does true love come when you really thought you found it so long ago. as a Christian I struggle with this.

    • Lisa Hallahan

      Leah, this would be very difficult. However I know God does not stop fulfilling His promises to us no matter what we have been through. He desires to see us happy and will not give up on us. I would keep praying and seeking the Lord on this matter. I will be praying for you as well. There is a book that is incredibly helpful and has changed my life and so many others as well! It’s called The Way Of Agape, by Nancy Misler. Please look it up and read it if you can. You will not regret it! =) Hope this helps. God bless.
      -Lisa Hallahan

  • I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I recently went on a date with a really great Christian guy. His love for Jesus is obvious….but I just don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. He’s great to have as a brother in Christ, but I don’t know if I’m ready to take our friendship any further. I’ve only known him for a couple months, and I don’t think we know each other well enough. But, whenever we spend time together, I really enjoy getting to know him. The only problem is that whenever I think about it later, I don’t feel like I could fully commit to it. I’ve been praying about it and wrestling with it for a couple weeks. I don’t want to ruin any kind of friendship we have, but I don’t want to lead him on if I don’t think this would work out. Any advice?

    • Lisa Hallahan

      Alli, Thank you for writing! I understand completely about your situation. I went through the same thing last summer. My advice to you is to just hold back, and wait. You don’t want to date someone you’ve only known a few months, even if they are nice when you are around them. There should be no wrestling or struggling with the situation. It should be smooth, God-led, and peaceful. When you are ready God will lead you. Don’t settle for something you might regret later. Wait it out and pray. It will be more peaceful that way. Hope this helps!

      God bless.
      -Lisa Hallahan

    • Sarah

      I’m going to disagree with the author here, but unless there is a major red flag within the character of your friend why wouldn’t you consider more than friendship? Has he asked you on a date? If he has, saying yes to coffee isn’t the same as accepting a marriage proposal. Godly dating means getting to know someone to see if there is marriage potential. It doesn’t mean that you have to know you want to marry them before going on a first date. Also, I think it is ok to “pray and wrestle” through whether or not you are interested in dating your friend. But I don’t think God is going to reveal whether or not you should date your friend purely by giving you a specific “feeling.” Seek wise counsel from older Christians within your church or community, preferably married ones. They’ve walked this road themselves and watched numerous others navigate unique love stories as well.

    • CC

      I love this.. It’s sweet, you’re so respectful of your friend – not wanting to lead him on. Awesome character girl!
      So, my advice is this. Sometimes love builds slowly and sometimes it can hit you in the face like a brick (a soft fluffy heart shaped brick) so — get to know your friend while he is your friend. You will be honest with him and tell him how you feel. Imagine how respected he will feel when you explain it to him.
      I recently got a brick to the teeth and I am very happy and very in love BUT also waiting patiently on God to reveal our next step. Prior to this I was single for many years and happy to grow my faith.
      Wait for the right one, it’s so worth it!

    • Alvilda Allie Rolle

      Hi Alli I read your response on the lovely blog. I realize that was two years ago. If i may ask what happened with the young man? Are you still friends? Was a relationship pursued? Etc. One of the responses had me pondering: if after two months of talking one doesn’t feel comfortable enough to pursue dating, how long do they consider an appropriate timeframe to get-to-know-each other before dating or starting a relationship? Lol all of that is confusing, but anyways, hope that made sense! And I hope all is well with you! I recognize there are various views on this topic and thankfully I am pretty open!

  • Amanda Fransen

    I found such a person when I was 18. Being in the same room as him…it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. There’s this magnetic force, my chest feels warm, my heart wants to beat out of my chest. He is gentle, kind, not envious or boastful…1 Cor 13:4-8…I can put his name in there and it’s all true about him. I have known him for about 14 years and he never married, but I married and had children. We are now 1000 miles away but just thinking about him fills me to near bursting…I can’t explain what being near him does to me. I’m divorced now (I was in an abusive relationship with an unbeliever and God gave me a dream and let me know that I had clean hands in the situation). I have always been able to find him and when we talk, it’s like we pick back up where we left off. I know he feels the same about me and yet I know he is in a situation of his own…so I have taken up praying for him daily using your Prayers for becoming a Future Wife posting (Putting it in God’s hands to choose him for me or not) and I pray that God is moving mountains in his life as well as whoever God will choose if it is not him. I have gained 50+lbs since I first met him…and yet he still calls me beautiful…when I’ve been called a retard among other not-so-nice names the last 8 years by my now ex husband. The sound of his voice makes me want to collapse…It’s him…it’s always been him and I keep praying that God would let me have him. I keep hoping that God is not cruel and wouldn’t let me feel this way about someone without purpose.

    I should also note that I’m a dreamer. I was given a dream about 2.5 months or so ago about me cleaning up the closet of my heart. Jesus was there in the form of a young blonde boy who was the “housekeeper” and I decided to open a closet to clean it because I wanted to do something nice for him. The closet was far dirtier and much larger than I’d recalled with items in there ranging from the 40’s-60’s era, it all seemed to be things like radios and containers, there was a desk with dust about 1″ thick, but the feeling of love in that dream was severely overpowering…it was the exact same feeling I feel about this person…I found myself angry to be woken up because I was so loved in that dream I didn’t want it to stop.

  • Kede

    I have been struggling in relationships since I began being in one. After many heartbreaks I realized that I wanted to love Father and be in love with Father because he is the perfect man! In 2013 I met a guy and at first we both said we weren’t ready for a relationship. We traveled together, we did so much together, we were inseparable! We talked about Father together and then I told him that I was ready for a relationship and a husband my soul mate. I prayed long before him and I was very specific. He fit the description. Only I later found out that he was in a relationship with someone else. Before all this I would be forceful, I wasn’t patient at all and we would began to argue and problems started because I couldn’t understand what was holding him back. 2 1/2 years later and we decided to remain friends only. Hey and bye. I still love him deeply and feel that he is the man I prayed for. I had to recognize my wrong and part that I played into why he did what he did. He expressed to me one day that the reason he wouldn’t be in a relationship with me was because I didn’t deserve to be hurt or played over. He couldn’t do it even if he tried. We grew apart and now he is back but still in the relationship. Only he says things like he cant live without me and Father knows what he wants and that he feels we could be. I lost faith and trust. And I don’t know if this is Father or the enemy because I have began to get my life right with Father and more so trying to work on me so that I can be ready for my husband whoever he is. My heart strongly tells me its him. I’m confused and I am doing everything from reading scriptures and praying to have the man that’s for me. And when I do he comes around saying the same thing and I don’t understand how he could be in love with me and want me in his life and cant let go of the relationship he is in. It only makes me doubt him and think its the devil! I don’t know. I’m just so lost and confused. I need advice.

  • Yoon Eun Mie

    lovely calling do you have a private message group for women? i really want to have a group message with you guys for advice and for me to grow in my Christian life, Thank you!

  • Sam Ash ✌️

    About 3 months ago I got really sick and tired of praying for a boyfriend. It seemed like a stupid prayer. So instead, I prayed for an opportunity for friendship with the man I was going to marry, whoever he was. Well, a week later at a young adult service I attend Sunday nights I accidentally left my tervis tumbler behind. That night on Facebook my friend Alex messaged me that he had it. Well, I got that message and j also got a feeling from God put on my heart like “hey, I’m answering that prayer now!” We were never close, but we had tons of mutual friends, and I had noticed something special about him that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. That Facebook message about my lost tumbler turned into exchanging numbers, which turned into months of talking and building a friendship. Last night he asked me to be his girlfriend & I have no doubts that the whole thing was 100% God!

  • Janet Mpolweni

    I have decided to do everything by the book (bible), life,love,career… Tired of stumbling…