Confessions of a Modest Girl

Confessions of a Modest Girl

Dear Reader,
Sometimes I feel too prideful about being modest. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be modest, other times I feel like I’m doing the right thing but I’m missing out on some kind of “fun” when I am dressing modestly. Isn’t there some way that I could be cool and fashionable but godly at the same time without drawing out the “super godly girl whose too modest for you” type of attitude?
Lora, A Modesty Confused Girl

Have you ever had the same thoughts and feelings about modesty before? Do all the comments, books and articles about modesty leave you a bit hazy and insecure about the topic? Well in an effort not to make the same valid or invalid arguments about modesty I will lightly glaze over this subject and hopefully shed some light on a new concept regarding modesty.

Are you ready? 

Lora brought up 3 different feelings/questions that come to mind at least once for the modestly dressed girl. I am positive that we all have felt this way when considering our modest clothing choices. When we look at ourselves in the mirror after choosing our outfit for the day we either feel like one or more of the following points:

Feeling Prideful About Your Modesty

Sometimes when we find a cute modest outfit to wear we think that we are super godly and better than the other worldly girls who flaunt themselves and get the “wrong attention” from guys. We don’t verbally or consciously think that way, but deep down, sometimes we do feel that way about our modest convictions.

We think that we deserve godly attention for dressing modestly and that we will get it by looking “godlier” than the girl who wears short shorts and low-cut tank tops to the store.

Let me just clear one thing before we go any further into this. Your modesty does not make you godlier, it shows that you have a God living in you. Your modesty will not save you. It is not your key to heaven or grace. Modesty is a tool given to us by God to bring glory to Him, not to you. By thinking that your modesty is more important to God than the worldly girl who we view as a “sinner” you are saying that you’re better than her in a way.

Jesus makes it clear that we are saved by “HIS” grace alone. Not by anything that we do (modesty) or that we’ve done.
“But not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit…”  Titus 3:5

Our convictions to be modest should not come from a boastful, prideful or even dutiful heart, but from a humble, contrite, and loving heart. When we consider the real point or the real agenda behind our modesty choices it will help us to be a REAL example of Christ’s love. Modesty should not be just a guy-girl, purity issue. It should be another reason to win others over to Christ’s love. And this cannot be done with a prideful, self-promoting attitude behind our modest outfit.

Feeling Ashamed of Our Modesty

Well, who hasn’t felt this way before about being modest? We are a little embarrassed, a little ashamed, and a little shy. This is not to be confused with “false humility” which is a good term to use for the above mentioned feeling.

Everyone has struggled with being ashamed or shy about their godly convictions; including modesty. Other godly convictions that we are sometimes embarrassed by might include: abstinence from secular music and movies, telling others about Jesus, speaking out about Christianity, praying in front of others ect. We all know how it feels to be embarrassed by convictions.

When we are ashamed of our modesty we are only focusing on one thing – ourselves. We aren’t focused on the ones we are trying to bless with our modest choices, God and others. We are focused on what makes us insecure, what makes us embarrassed, and what makes us upset.

Instead of only thinking about what others think of our modesty, we need to think about what GOD thinks about our modesty. Boldly look into the mirror and know that you are dressing this way to glorify God and think of all the beauty that God sees when He looks at you.

Missing Out on the Fun Side of Fashion

When girls think about the word “modesty” we think of unfashionable long and baggy clothes. Girls who do know how to make fashionable and modest clothing choices know that this isn’t true! There are lots of ways to be creative and fashionable and still be able to glorify God by not flaunting your body.

I would encourage you to not feel left out from the world or left out from “real fashion”. Take the style of fashion that you like and tweak it to your modesty conviction standard. Find some ideas on Pinterest, shop at thrift stores and make it a fun girly experience! I don’t want you to get too caught up in the whole obsessed and addicted to Pinterest and fashion movement. But I think taking it moderately and helping you with feeling beautiful and unique is a good idea.

Take a step back and drop all of the worry and drama that comes with  the topic of Modesty. 

Do you think when Peter wrote those verses in 1 Peter 3 that he wanted all the confusion and worry that is presented in the minds of others when modesty is brought up? Focusing on who is right and who is wrong about this subject is a tool of Satan to keep us confused and upset. We need to think about who is the creator of our bodies and whether or not we are bringing glory to Him through our actions and choice of apparel. That’s it!

When our thoughts are centered on God and what is good and pure and from above there will be no in between or gray area concerning our modesty. We won’t be concerned with the world’s fashion, our friend’s fashion, or our church’s dress standards. We will be free to worship and glorify our creator with HIS standards, HIS word, and HIS heart.

Thank you for taking the time to read through the article! I hope it was helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject! Thank you. God bless!

Lisa Sig.1




  • I personally have dealt with the fight of being modest, sometimes loving it and knowing it’s the right thing, other times kinda wishing I can dress/act like the “bad boy” that girls seem to love, although I know it’s the wrong thing. Even we guys struggle with this sometimes.

  • Thank you for writing this article. It is very well written and true! God bless!

  • Happy Tappy

    I feel that everyone hates modest girls. there is so much hate in our society. I am modest and everyone makes fun of me and hates me. I try to be nice and respect others and I am treated like trash. Why does our society hate modest girls?