It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It had started out as a simple girls night out then it turned wrong. You were spending the night at your friend’s house with three other girls. They decided to watch a movie that you had never seen before. It was a romance comedy. You thought it would be fun to watch and you were also curious to see what this movie was about. Even though you knew your parents would have wanted you to ask them if this was a good movie to see you went against your better judgment and decided to just go with it.
Then you saw it. The sex seen that has stayed in your mind months after even watching the film. You keep telling yourself that it was just a silly movie and that you should just forget about it but when you are in your room and it’s dark, your mind replays that scene from the movie. You wake up the next morning feeling yucky and defiled. You feel embarrassed to talk to God and it has even effected your communication with your guy friends from church.
You may be surprised to know this, but the majority of Christian girls struggle with the sin of lust.
The other day I googled this sentence: What do Christian girls struggle with? Lust came up number one. According to a filtered review by Christianity Today, 70% of women have a struggle with lust. 70 percent is big. But it should not come as a surprise, especially in the 21st century. Sex, romance, men, women, love, and erotica is shoved down our throats morning noon and night.
Lust is NOT just a guys problem. Lust is a huge problem that runs rampant in this world and effects EVERYONE. It has since the beginning of time but even more so in recent times. When a girl reads a romance novel, listens to an explicit song, watches a steamy movie or even engages in reading a news article online that has something to do with sexual activity, it is in her mind and thoughts-just like a guy. Sometimes we can control what we do with those thoughts but more often than not we choose to entertain the thoughts.
By entertaining lustful thoughts we are giving in to the power of lust which is pleasure at its worst description outside of marriage. It is defiling to your future marriage and spouse even if it is just in your mind. We know that all over the Bible we are given warnings to stay clear of sexual sin. We know that it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage. We know that it is wrong to have sex with someone else besides your spouse once you are married, but what about giving into sexual temptations (aside from actual sex) before you are married?
In Ephesians 5:3 Paul makes a sobering command for ALL to follow. It does not exclude women. Check it out:
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Any kind of impure thought breaks this commandment.
It’s a difficult, disgusting sin and it’s scary for girls. Girls feel differently concerning this sin than guys do. Girls think that because “lust is only a guy problem” they are not normal for struggling with it. So they keep it secret. They hide it from their own conscience and they try to hide from thinking about it. They are as equally (if not more) ashamed of lust as guys are.
I am not trying to scare you with more verses about how wrong it is to be thinking about and entertaining lustful thoughts because you already know that. You already feel like a failure and a sinner. I don’t want to make you feel that way because God doesn’t want you to feel that way. But in order to change our sinful habits we need to recognize that they are in fact dangerous.
I want you to read one more verse concerning this matter then I want to share with you how we can break this ugly habit together.
“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.” Ephesians 5:11-13
This verse gives us the key to breaking the habit which so easily ensnares so many girls like you and I.
I know that girls like to keep this sin the biggest secret in their lives. It’s “shameful even to speak of” as Paul said. But in order to escape the danger or continuance in this habit it will take a lot of determination, strength, and discipline, to do what is right. The number one thing we need to do in order get on the road to breaking through the power of lust in our lives is to EXPOSE THE SIN.
1. Expose: This will be the hardest thing to do to get rid of lust. Even reading the word might have scared away some of you. But we need to make this decision and kick Satan’s stronghold out. It will be hard but doing this will bring such unimaginable peace and relief to your heart. Please tell your parents or close, close mentor about this struggle. Just telling them will rid the weight from your mind and they will know how to help you stay accountable. You may have to expose the problem a few times until it is no longer bringing you down on a regular basis. Don’t be afraid. It’s hard but MORE than worth it!
2. Dispose: Yes, you knew this would be here. You need to get rid of anything that triggers your lustful thoughts. Books, magazines, pictures, movies, music, articles, anything that makes you fall. Make a commitment to clean up-then follow through. If you don’t, you are giving yourself a secret excuse to keep giving into sinful pleasure. Commitment without action is more than ineffective, it’s cowardice. You can do it!
3. Discipline: Training your mind to flee the lustful thoughts that will bring you down takes a lot of willpower. We need to discipline ourselves to recognize when we are going being sucked into the trap of lust. When we are alone and those sexual thoughts come to mind we need to call out to Jesus. We need to tell Him what is going on and that we need help fighting off those thoughts. You will be surprised how mighty God is in this area of life. He will not fail to rescue you. Ask Him to fill your thoughts with different things.
4. Strengthen: Strengthen your mind and walk with the Lord by reading the Word when you wake up and when you go to sleep. You are going to need a sharp mind to combat the devil. He is playing with your flesh and that is a hard battle to fight. But you are not alone. You have the Living Breathing Word of God. Use it against your enemy.
5. Fight! We need to wage war with the lustful power that the culture is destroying girls with today. Conquering this habit is going to take a lot of fighting on your part. It will take a lot of strength, willpower, might and wisdom. All of this comes from the Holy Spirit. You can do none of this on your own. You will need to call on the Most High for help. Pray to put all of the above into immediate action. Expose, dispose of, discipline, and strengthen, this is how we will fight!
Don’t wait. We need to clear this now. It is a horrible, frightening thing to be trapped in the sin of lust. I know. The sooner we begin to come clean the better. Pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in your life TODAY! Freedom is just one prayer away.
* Please take this time to read and pray in your own words Psalms 51. You won’t regret it! *
-Do you know the feeling of being trapped in the habit of lust?
-Will you decide today to be free?