How to Help Hurting Friends


How to Help Hurting Friends

Recently, while online, I came across a quote that someone shared that struck as being right on. The quote did not have an author but it said this “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” This is so very true! During our lives we all go through hard or difficult seasons where everything around seems to crumbling at times and we feel lost, lonely, or hurt. We may act like we have it all together but inwardly we are really hurting and just trying not to show it. You have probably experienced something like this yourself or know friends that have.

I know from personal experience that whenever I have had a sad or hard time in my life God has helped me through it in a lot of different ways but one of the biggest is that He used other Christians around me to help walk me through a trial.

My mom and dad especially have been there to help so much whenever something hard is going on. And also I have been blessed with many friends both my own age and older than me who have been there for me over and over as well. Having other Christians come alongside and help guide me in the right path and encouraging me to keep trusting Jesus has blessed me so much!

As Christian young ladies we have the opportunity and the privilege to then go and do the same for others by encouraging and helping them through difficult trials as well. You may be wondering how exactly you can do that though. Thoughts may be running through your mind right now somewhat along these lines, “How can I help encourage that person who is in a trial? I’ve never been in that situation!” “What advice can I give to my struggling friend in who is in a relationship as I have never been in one before?” “I don’t exactly understand what my friend is going through, how can I be there for them?”

In answer to those questions let’s look at what exactly encouragement means. According to the dictionary, Encouragement is defined as: “the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.”

There you have it! That is what encouragement is all about.

It doesn’t matter if you have never been in the exact same situation or trial as your friends. It is about offering them support to get through it, and giving them hope and confidence through Christ that they can make it through with His help.
The Bible says this concerning encouragement “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

When someone is going through a hard time they can often feel torn down and discouraged. Sometimes even some of the people around them may even be making the situation worse by intentionally or unintentionally tearing them down further. As Christians though we can come alongside and help to build them up just as you are probably already doing!

Not sure where to start?

Here a few simple ideas that could really bless a sister in Christ in a big way when she is going through a hard time.

-Firstly pray for her.
And don’t just tell her that you are going to pray for her. If appropriate, stop whatever you are doing and pray for her right where you’re at. Whether you are with her in person or on the phone talking to her.

-Send her a card or letter, or email letting her know that you are there for her and are thinking about and praying for her. This is something that so many of my friends have done for me and it brightened my day so much! Even just a short message in a chat box or a text can be comforting too.

-Share your favorite Bible verses with her that helped you when went through something hard.

-Encourage them to keep looking to Jesus and his word for help above anyone or anything else.

And lastly and so importantly just be there as a friend for them and as someone who they can talk to. Even if you don’t have a lot of advice to give them oftentimes just listening to them while they get something off their hearts that has been troubling them can be one of the best ways you can help them. Oftentimes we as women just want other Christian woman to talk with that will be there for us as we are going through something hard.

How have other ladies encouraged you when you have gone through a hard time? How have you yourself been able to encourage others? I would love to hear your stories in the comments.
I hope that you all have a beautiful day in Christ!

Anna Sig 1

  • When I was going through a rough patch, it really helped me to have good, caring friends to talk to. I only hope I can return the favor someday. 🙂

  • Elizabeth Williams

    As I’ve been going through a chronic illness, every one of these has been helpful. I would say receiving a card has probably been the most encouraging, especially when they take the time to write an encouraging message 🙂

  • I have several friends who go to public school, which is tough on them since they do come from Christian families. Whenever they have problems with their “friends” and peer pressure, and just sick wordly things like that, I’ll talk to them, over text or in person, and just encourage them in the Lord. Most of the time I know God gives me words that really touch them, which is really awesome. 😉

    I just talked to one of my friends about one problem she was going through in her life, and she and couple other girls all agreed I should be a psychiatrist! I was like, “Nah, I’m just doing what friends do.” I do want to be a counselor of some sort, if it’s in God’s will for my life. 😉

    Thank you for writing this post, it’s very true and encouraging!

    Love, Jazzy

  • Thank you so much for sharing this, Anna! Very helpful. 🙂

  • Grace M.

    This is such a helpful reminder and great tips. I think it’s especially touching when a friend stops and prays for you right where you are rather than just saying, I’ll pray for you. Thanks for the article!

  • Jo-Anne C

    Great post! You are so right about praying for your friend at right at that moment. The person will feel even more encouraged and supported that you’ve taken the time to pray with her. I was just wondering about how I could be of more support to my friends when they are going through a rough time such as a break-up. I’m so happy that I came across this post. Now, I have confirmation about what I should do. God bless you!