Another birthday has come and gone, but what makes this birthday unique, you ask? The fact that I am almost thirty, still unmarried, and living at home with my parents. Those facts mean little to me, but to the world and even most Christians, it almost unforgiveable. The world is telling me to “live up” my single years by acquiring as much money as possible, date recklessly, become a successful business woman, etc. But if you look at the message the church is sending the Christian single, it is very much the same…only with more morals attached.
If you aren’t married by 25, then you better be “doing something” with your life. After all, most churches treat their singles as cripples. The singles get shoved into the “singles classes” and are made to feel like since they are unmarried, they must find some way of being useful to society.
After my twin sister got married last August, I was told that I needed to “get out from under my parents roof and do something with my life”…a sad, but very real, issue that Christian women (like myself) face.
Most believers do not understand my position on allowing the Lord to write my love story (if He has one for me!), staying at home until the Lord leads elsewhere, not go to college, or my choice to not be immersed in the traditional workplace . It is a pattern few follow, so it seems like a foreign concept. But what is the pattern of the Bible? Can we find passages in Scripture that support this view of the “live it up” years? I can only find examples of ladies who still lived at home until the Lord led elsewhere. Here are two of my favorite examples from Scripture.
“And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder. And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher. And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.” |Genesis 24:15-20
Our first example is Rebekah. She was a younger woman who was still living with her parents and doing the work the Lord had for her! We don’t find any mention of Rebekah “doing something with her life”, but she was living in complete trust that the Lord would provide everything she needed. Rebekah allowed the Lord to direct her steps by patiently waiting for Him to lead her where He wanted her to go. Most think that working at home isn’t important at all, but I find that in Scripture, it appears to be very important to the Lord. Rebekah wasn’t idol with her time. Instead, she used her time in godly pursuits.
“And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter. And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.” |Ruth 2:2-3
The second example is Ruth. While the theme of the book of Ruth is a beautiful picture of Christ being our Kinsman Redeemer, I believe there are several things that we can “glean” from this book. Ruth treated her mother-in-law with the utmost respect. She was willing to leave all that she had known in order to serve the Lord and Naomi. She gave up the rights to her will, for the will of the Lord. She willingly worked in the fields without an expectation of recognition or making gobs of money. She was poor, humble, giving, self-sacrificing, and most of all, godly. This, to me, is a beautiful picture of what a godly single should look like. Not that having money or a successful job is wrong, but it seems like those things can become idols all too quickly. The modern-day church needs to get back to the idea of coming alongside believers (whether single or married) and giving them the tools to lead a set-apart life for Christ.
It is true that I don’t have a lot of money in the bank, I am not well-known in the business world, or have men pursuing me.
But instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I would rather focus on what I do. For instance, if I needed tons of money in my bank account, the Lord would have provided me the business accordingly. What most don’t see is that I have freedom to pursue other interests.
- As a photographer who sets my own hours, I can take off for a whole day to go photograph nature or people.
- I can improve my knitting and calligraphy skills, or do fun DIY projects.
- I can help my parents around the house with mowing, cleaning windows, doing the laundry, etc.
- I have time to listen to sermons and read encouraging testimonies of God’s goodness in the biographies of beloved saints of the Lord.
- I have the opportunity to allow the Holy Spirit to purge my selfishness and serve others in the way Christ would serve them.
- I can work on being the Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 woman even before marriage.
- But most importantly, I have the time to spend with my two nieces. I see them every day and have the chance to play with them, sing, be goofy, run around, and teach my oldest niece various things about the Lord and life skills that will be useful later on.
My life is not dull at all, but one of adventure and excitement. Being chained to a desk from 9 to 5 sounds dull to me!
Being married and/or successful doesn’t make you a better Christian. Only a close relationship with the glorious God of the universe does!
I hope you will join me in seeing the beauty in the mundane…seeing the joy in doing what He has planned for you, even though it may not fit with what everyone else expects! God bless you, dear sisters in Christ!
Haley Parson is a single 28-year-old young woman who is keeping house with her parents in northwestern Missouri. She is a photographer with her own business, quirkycharm photography, and she love taking advantage of the beauty of nature all around her. She graduated from homeschool with her twin sister, finishing in the “top two” of her class. Jesus, the Christ, is her first love, and she is looking forward to serving Him in the Kingdom. In the meantime, she enjoys reading and studying, walking, volleyball, hot tea, history, crafting, vintage shopping, music, and cooking. She also loves spending time with her married sisters, and her young niece.
While she would love to be married and have a family someday, she knows that may not be God’s plan for her life. She tries to look at every day He gives her as an adventure and a gift. Only He knows the future and she knows she can fully rest in His wonderful plan for her life!