We’ve written several articles in the past about how to be a godly woman in a difficult generation, we’ve talked about singleness, we’ve talked about relationships, but I thought it would be a good idea to address the topic of how to be a godly woman worth being pursued by a godly man.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what is required. Sometimes you wonder if you are doing something wrong if you’ve been single for a while. How are we supposed to know if we are doing the right or the wrong thing?
This all falls under the topic of faith. By stepping back and allowing the man to be the pursuer, you are really proving your faith in God by giving up control of something very dear to you, by trusting that God will guide the young man to win your heart. It’s like a bind folding game. You are trusting God and you don’t know the outcome. You don’t know if your heart will end up broken or blessed.
But the right kind of girl will be able to take the risk, and entrust her heart to God.
Here are 5 ways to begin molding your heart around that of a godly woman’s who is worth being pursued by a godly man.
1. Know Your True Worth
Did you know that God wants you to become the woman who a godly man will cherish and hold in the utmost regard one day? It’s true! But if we are drowning in the tide pool of modern societies expectations for girls we will never be able to see ourselves the way God sees us. We need to break free from expectations of the world such as, how skinny you need to be, how pretty you need to be, what kind of hair you need to have, what kind of job you need to have, what kind of body you need to have, what kind of personality you need to have ect…
True beauty comes from knowing and accepting the intricate, individual person God made you to be and being brave enough to grow in that instead of trying to change it.
That is the number one thing we can do to become a godly woman worth pursuing:knowing our own worth, aside from what others deem as worthy.
If you are to become the virtuous woman who God is saving for your future husband we will need to stop labeling ourselves with worldly terms that sneakily become our identity if we are not careful.
2. Grow in Your Abilities
Remember in the 1800’s a woman’s worth was measured by her talents and abilities? The following questions arose when a young lady was being considered: Is she cultured? Can she sing and play instruments? What books does she read? Is she a good manager of a home? Does she dress well? ect. All of these are very good things to begin adding to your repertoire. Although these talents (or lack of them) do not define you, they do give you a certain grace and appeal that other women who squander their time uselessly, do not posses. Read poetry, learn to sing or play an instrument, begin reading useful books on herbs, cooking, gardening, or decor/crafting.
This will not only fill your time with useful pursuits, but it will also inspire others. It will also inspire the man you meet to make use of the manly talents that God has given him as well. You will be thankful that you learned so much and made use of the time you were given before marriage. Try to devote time to doing things that you might not have otherwise done after being married. After all, this is what our single years should be used for!
When you meet the man who you are ready to give your heart to, be sure to be the kind of girl that doesn’t drain him of his manhood. And by saying that I mean that you should try your hardest to inspire the leadership qualities that God has blessed him with. Don’t demand a lot of his time and attention as this only shows that you get your ultimate happiness and joy from him instead of from God. That is a lot of pressure on one guy.
Instead, encourage the men in your life to become great men of God by: not leading them on, not telling them what to do all the time, acting like a lady not some tough girl who doesn’t need any help, being kind, being prayerful, being careful of other people’s feelings, ect.
By doing this and more like it, it will help inspire the men around you to act like gentlemen and to give attention to the manly qualities that God has instilled in them.
Men like to see how the girls that they are interested in act towards and around other people. This is a good incentive to practice being kind but it’s important to have the gift of kindness and servitude long before we meet someone and try to impress them with kindness. Showing love to others should be something that we habitually practice or work towards daily. Blessing and serving others is a very noble, honorable trait that every woman should have.
I know you might be thinking, “what does helping others have to do with being attractive to someone?”
It has a lot to do with it. As a matter of fact, the way you treat others is the way you will eventually treat your future husband and your own family someday. So what you sow in relationships now, you will reap in relationships later. Start with your family. Make a commitment to bless someone intentionally every day. It’s very encouraging and helps to get your mind on more important things-such as building up the kingdom of God.
5. Be Brave
This is the last and toughest quality to read about. It was tough for me to write it. Last year, I was going through a major growth season in life. God was stretching and growing me to reflect His Son more eminently. I learned one word the whole summer: BRAVE. God was teaching me to be bold, bold in my convictions, confident in myself, confident in who He was IN me, bold in my character, and so much more.
Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who is brave, strong and emboldened because of who Christ is in her.
Not in her own strength and bravery, but in God. Don’t be shy, don’t be gullible to the things of the world. Discover who you are in Christ and what you are called to do and be confident in that. Be confident in who God is creating you to be.
These 5 qualities are not meant to be a “sure-fire husband catching potion”. They are simply meant to inspire you, to encourage you to continue to grow in who God is calling you to be. A godly woman in a fallen world. He will send you someone, someday, to shield and protect you, but ultimately you must also do your part by preparing yourself with wisdom and grace. Ask Jesus for guidance. He will be “faithful to complete a good work in you”.