What to Look For in a Godly Man


What to Look For in a Godly Man

*Last Tuesday, we published an article called How to be a Woman Worth Pursuing. We gained quite a few responses concerning the article and decided to write one about what to look for in a godly man.

When you look around at the world of men today, it’s hard to not be discouraged by some of the character traits (or lack of them) that appear in the men. Rarely do we see a man who acts or shows that he could take care of a woman and a family in the way God has designed.

So how are we to know a good guy when we see one? And when we do meet someone, how are we to know if he is the right kind of guy who will care for us, lead us, and cherish us? Just like in all other matters and situations in life, we will look to God for wisdom. We will base the man’s character on that of Christ’s.

Maybe you are in a relationship and there are some red flags going off in your heart. Maybe you are interested in someone but you are not really sure what to look for in his character. Hopefully, this list will help confirm some things, or reveal some things to you about the men in your life.

What to look for in a Godly Man

1. He Loves the Lord

Obviously this should be the first thing to look for. Does he talk about Jesus? Does he worship and pray and have a real relationship of his own with God? “Well, at church he does, but what about the rest of the time?” You might be wondering… Well, it will show in his actions, in his speech and in his knowledge of the Word. Don’t be fooled by  the guy who goes to church on Sunday but gets away with whatever he pleases during the week. You need a solid steadfast soldier of the Lord.

2. He’s Gentle

Not every man is lovey dovey and super sweet all of the time, but the man who you are interested in or who is interested in you should have a gentle spirit and a strong character. He doesn’t need to be weak or submissive but he should show his gentle side as well as his strong side. Is he caring for others? Does he love his family? Is he a servant? This is another thing to look for in his character.

3. He’s Polite

A real man is polite not just to the girl he’s interested in but to everyone around him. He should be able to converse with older people, ask if he can be of any assistance in any situation, volunteer to clean ect. Yes, he should open your door, pull out your seat, ask if you need anything and so on, but he should also be a gentleman to everyone he knows.

4. He Loves Children

Yes, even this is an important quality. A man who loves children has a mature sense of love and leadership as it proves that he has a heart that can care for someone deeply. When he sees a little person who hasn’t experienced anything of life and you see a smile light up on his face because the little one is so innocent, then you’ll know that he’s a good man. He will be loving, he will be understanding and he has a strong sense of responsibility. That’s a good sign!

5. He Is a Leader

I can’t tell you how important this is in a man. Leadership is key. I know women don’t want leadership in their lives anymore but that is just unbiblical and very stupid. Women need to be led, they crave it, they can’t function without a steady hand helping to provide for them and guide them. Why do you think all of the feminists who say they don’t need leadership try to be so controlling and leaders of their own lives? Because that’s the one thing missing from their lives. That is what they need so they try their hardest to acquire it on their own, but they end up bitter and alone in life. You need someone who can take charge of what God has given him. He needs to be able to stand on his own two feet and guide you while he is being led by God. The next 10 points mentioned below will be proof of his ability to lead.

6. He Is the One Pursuing

So, if he is the one initiating the relationship by coming and talking to you, and asking you questions than this is a good sign. You don’t want someone who will sit back and let you do all the work. You also don’t want someone who has shown interest in you but is not doing anything about it. Let him figure out how to pursue you, when the best timing would be to establish a relationship, and how to approach you and your parents. Let him be the pursuer.

7. He Seeks the Lord

A godly man needs to know that he’s a sinner and in need of a Savior. He should be praying and seeking the Lord as often as he can. If he does this, then you’ll know that you have a good leader and husband in the future.

8. He is the Initiator of Pursuing Christ Together

If you are in a relationship and the guy is initiating time alone with God and encouraging you to do the same this is also a rare and special quality. He needs to be asking you about what you are struggling with spiritually, he needs to ask you what you’ve been reading about in the Bible, he should ask what God has been speaking to you about, and he should be able to encourage you in the Word. A good leader will actively be deepening your relationship with God and secondly your relationship together.

9. He Loves Your Family

Make sure that the guy that enters your family picture actually feels like he has been part of the family forever. He should love spending time with them almost as much as he likes spending time with you.  Your family is after all, the people you’ve grown up with and spend most of your time with. Now he needs to get to know them and love them as much as you do.

10. He Introduces You to His Family and Friends

This little gesture can’t be overlooked in a relationship. If he has a hard time hanging out with his friends or family and you there’s something wrong. The man in your life should definitely be more than willing to introduce you to his friends and family. He should make you feel comfortable and loved around them as much as possible.

11. He Cares About Your Relationship With Christ

If he cares about you than he should care about Christ in you as well. If he leaves you alone so you can spend time with God than you are in luck because this guy is special! If he asks you how your relationship with the Lord is doing than he’s pretty awesome! The man in your life should care DEEPLY about your relationship with God, knowing that it is making you more into the image the godly woman your husband needs.

12. He Honors Your Way of Life

This point is crucial too. The guy you care about should respect the way you and your family do things in all matters. If he shows any signs of contempt or disagreement for the way your parents have raised you or run your home than he should probably go because this will only cause division and heartbreak in the future. He should honor how you live, the decisions you and your family have made and what you believe.

13. He Honors Your Purity

This probably doesn’t need to be explained. If the man who is pursuing you is also passionate about protecting you, then embrace it. Wait for the moment when you both can fall into each other’s arms on the wedding night, free of guilt and regret. He should honor and protect the beauty that God has given you. If he doesn’t than what will he honor and cherish during your marriage?

14. He Has a Plan for His Future

He should be hard-working and loyal in all that he does and be working towards his future. What does he want from life? His goals should be honorable and solid, not dreams based on a whim. He should have a future and a purpose for his life and in all things glorify God.

15. He Knows What He Needs From You

This is one of the most important points. The man you are with should know who you are-down to the core of your soul, or at least work hard to getting to know you there. But he should know what to expect from you. He should strive to protect and lead you but also know what to ask of you. If he doesn’t know what he needs from you how are you to grow in love and affection for each other?

16. He Prays with and for You

Here is our final and (what I think is) our most important point. Your relationship foundation should be deeply rooted on prayer. The man you are in or will be in a relationship with, should be praying (out loud) with and for you. He should pray when you are together and when you are apart. This strengthens your relationship more than you can know. When both of your hearts are pulling closer to the Lord in harmony the Lord will tie your hearts to each other in love.

Let’s talk about it! 

What qualities or character traits do you look for in a godly man?
What are some points that you strongly agree or disagree with?
Are you in a relationship with someone who lacks or possesses a lot of these qualities?

I would love to hear from you. Also, share this with your friends!

Lisa Sig.1

 

 

 

  • Laura Stanton

    Thank you so much for this! I agree with every single one of your points, and it’s very good for those of us who aren’t in a relationship to know these things before we are. We should know what we’re looking for in a man, instead of getting in a relationship and trying to force him to be who we want.

    Could you maybe list some scripture verses to back up some of your points?

  • Tosin Ojumu

    “Women need to be led, they crave it, they can’t function without a steady hand helping to provide for them and guide them.”
    I definitely have feminist orientations but I disagree with this statement. I function very effectively as s single woman, and by God’s grace I believe my own hands are adequately steady. I think your statement is unbiblical in that the Apostle Paul makes it clear that a woman does not have to be married, and therefore does not have to have leadership in her life in this way. In fact, according to him it is preferable for a woman to remain single. Where men are called to be the head of the home, I believe that this is because *someone* needs to be the head, not because there is anything inherently deficient about women, or even because a woman in and of herself “needs” male leadership. Proverbs 31v17 “She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.”

    • Kellie

      Hi Tosin,
      I agree with you about the fact that not all women are married, and how Paul encourages singleness. However, “most” women want to be married, because God created us to be relational. And, the marriage relationship is where we can find that most satisfying intimate relationship. That said, even within the godhead, there is leadership and submission. “Jesus yields to the Father”, “the Spirit knows all things”, etc. Furthermore, because of a lack of leadership, Eve was alone when the Serpent tempted her. Where was Adam? Not where he should’ve been. Had Ananias shown leadership in Acts 5, maybe Sapphira would’ve lived (as well as Ananias). Furthermore, what does it mean in Ephesians 5 where husbands are commanded to “love their wives how Jesus loved the church”, and laid down His life for her? Leadership starts by the husband leading his wife to the throne, and her going with him (sometimes when she doesn’t want to). Leadership starts with the husband being first (and most responsible) to reconcile and ask forgiveness when needed (which is often). Leadership starts when husbands sacrifice their own needs for the needs of his wife and children. This is biblical leadership, and this is what a godly woman who wants to be married craves most.

  • Tosin Ojumu

    That said, I do agree with the rest of the article! It looks like a great blog, (I’m a blogger myself!) Keep up the good work, and I can’t wait to read your remaining posts! 😉

  • Monika Majercakova

    great, true article! and praying together is really precious 🙂 ..I just don´t agree with the point 9 -him to love my family. It´s not often that easy, although he can be a strong godly man. For the main, I think, it´s important to accept each other. The most important relation in our relationship is that between us 2. But I know you probably have written about a family (of the bride) where the relationships are good and they really love each other, then it´s true, so they can often show us what we can´t or don´t want to see.

  • Tol

    just marry jesus then XD he only one who is that perfect