The car pulled in the driveway, I got out and walked into the house and went up to my room. I looked in the mirror at myself and let out a heavy sigh. How could I have left the house looking that way?
Why are my legs so big?
Why is my hair so flat?
Why can’t I keep a clear face?
The list of what was wrong with my image ran through my mind a million miles per hour. I couldn’t stop judging myself and thinking of what was wrong with my outward appearance.
No matter how hard I tried to look prettier, my mind could never accept that what I looked like was enough. I could never be good enough for myself. I felt like this for 2 years. At one point in my life, I came very close to being anorexic. I tried making myself sick so that I would be skinny enough for myself to be satisfied with my own body. Even though I was an average weight, I wanted to be skinnier. I hated myself.
When I looked in the mirror it was as if I saw a big, ugly, unhealthy, person instead of the girl who God had made me to be.
Have you ever heard lies pouring into your mind when you look in the mirror? Do you believe those lies when you hear them?
The best thing to do when you hear those lies is to recognize them for what they are. Lies. Then name the lies so that you really get the idea of what they are. After that, you need to quench those lies with truth.
This is how God helped me overcome this major stage of depression and unhealthy thinking pattern in my life.
1. Recognize that what you are thinking or feeling when you look into the mirror that is not coming from God is a LIE.
Here are some of the most prominent lies that women hear when they look in the mirror or compare themselves to others.
Lie number one: You are not good enough.
When we compare our body image to that of others this sparks the biggest, ugliest, most unhealthy lie of all. We can’t help but think about it and believe it though. How can we ignore the images, the magazines, the videos, the continual outpouring of messages that flood our days with women that supposedly look prettier than we do. Comparing our bodies to these women is not only hurtful, but it is a waste of time. There will always be people to compare ourselves to. But it is wrong. When we compare ourselves to others we are judging what God has made us to be. We are not satisfied with His creation. We want more.
Imagine getting everything you want. Imagine if you did have the perfect body that you want. Do you think you would be completely satisfied for the rest of your life? Do you think all of the celebrities and models that are held in such high regard by society are totally confident and satisfied? I don’t think so.
No matter what happens in life, apart from God we will never be truly happy or satisfied. It’s just human nature 101. We will always desire more.
The lie that says we are not good enough comes from insecurity or not knowing our true worth in Christ. It comes from constantly degrading ourselves and thinking that pretty, skinny, sexy girls are better than us. The lie just grows bigger and bigger. We begin to hear this lie all of the time, even when we aren’t looking in a mirror. It’s time to shut down this lie! No more. Stop listening to the voice that says “your face is plain”, “you are over weight”, “your skin is too pale” ect. Don’t listen to that voice.
Instead, kill it with truth!
2. Quench the Lies with Truth.
For every lie that you hear, you must destroy it with the truth that God speaks to you.
Remember lie number one? “You are not good enough?” Well, here is truth number one.
Truth number one: You are more than enough.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:24-33 that we are not to be anxious about how we look.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”
Why do you think Jesus died for you? Because He loves you. He wants a relationship with you. He doesn’t want to see you wasting away wishing for the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle. He gave you what you have, your every breath is a blessing! He thinks your worth is more than enough, that is how much He loves you.
What does this have to do with beauty?
God loves beauty. He does not make flawed things. He made you the way you are and He thinks your beautiful. Your standard of beauty is much different from God’s, but do you think your opinion of yourself is more important than God’s? We form our beauty standards by what we see around us. What we feed our minds with.
God’s beauty standard is so much greater and purer than ours because His view isn’t tainted with the standards of the world like ours is. So, if He calls us beautiful, then we really, truly are.
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” Genesis 1:31
Lie Number Two: Men Don’t Like Girls Who Aren’t Hot
I think this is an underling fear that many single girls face. Even though they are absolutely beautiful to their friends and family, they might not think so. They fear that since they aren’t in a relationship or being pursued by any guys that they aren’t “pretty enough”. While this lie is very untrue its logic is also very shallow.
The kind of men that like “hot” girls and ignore the other girls are not worth being jealous of. They aren’t worth us needing their attention. We need to find our own worth apart from the comments, and opinions of others. We shouldn’t base our happiness or find our image worth in men. This is a form of idolatry. We need to be confident in who Christ is, and fin dour worth in Him and in what He has done for us and saved us from.
Truth Number Two: You Are Beautiful Aside From What Others Think
When God becomes all we need and when our daily walk with God becomes a love relationship then His opinion will be the only one we care about.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2
We are daily being transformed into the image of God. He is making us beautiful according to what He want’s us to be. We must listen for His voice alone. His plans are perfect.
God will bring you a man who sees you the way He sees you-beautiful, and perfect, and wonderfully made.
I would not consider myself as “hot” or very beautiful. As a matter of fact I pride myself in being a “plain Jane”. That is because God gave me confidence in who I am because I decided to listen for His voice when I looked in the mirror. He pointed out my green/blue eyes, my few freckles, my fair skin, my short nose and my rounder bone structure. After I saw that this too was beautiful I stopped worrying about what I thought I lacked. The same can be done for you.
Do you see the pattern here?
Recognize that the negative thoughts that come to mind when you see yourself in the mirror are lies. Then, name the lies that are most prominent in your mind and cover them with the truth that God speaks into you life. And if all you can hear are lies then you need to take the necessary steps to shutting out the voice where the lies are coming from (i.e. social media, music, movies, PINTEREST!). This way it is easier to hear from God instead of from the world.
I bet there are way more lies that women believe about themselves when they look in the mirror.
-What are some of the lies that you hear when you see yourself?
-What is a good scripture or truth that you can quench it with the next time you look in the mirror?
I would like to hear your responses! God bless.