Let’s say that you’re at a time in your life where you could be in a relationship that leads to marriage. What are you doing to prepare for that role? It is an important stage in your life and you will probably (with God’s hand) be married for the rest of your life. But if we are headed for such a huge blessing and responsibility, then what are we to do to prepare for that?
What knowledge should we pursue? What tips should we acquire?
When I was younger my parents taught me that marriage was a big deal. It’s not just your wedding day that marks a significant chapter…it’s the story afterwards that marks your character.
Your marriage will be a representation of Jesus and the church, the Bride and the Bridegroom. This is no small matter.
Marriage will be a HUGE part of your life. We must be prepared and we must prepare well.
You need to learn as much about it and how to be a godly, beautiful wife as you possibly can if you want your marriage to last. Start with learning about yourself, about men, and about what is expected of a good, loving, godly wife after being married.
Think of the wisdom that comes with learning all of this as an investment. You are investing into knowledge which in turn will bring joy and contentment in your future life as a married woman.
I won’t even mention what a huge blessing it would be for your future husband if you knew so much about married life after your wedding!
Start with learning about yourself and what it means to be a godly woman.
What kind of Girl Are you?
What makes you who you are? What makes you happy? What makes you uneasy? How do you respond to people? How do you do in social settings? Figure out what draws you closer or further away from the Lord. Learning about your personality and how you relate to things will definitely help you relate to your husband.
Understanding yourself will also help you know what kind of guy will complement your personality type too.It will help you discern what kind of man is the best for you.
If you are a straight-forward, outgoing girl then you will need a man who loves you for that and is content with letting you be that way. Being with a man who is demanding and straight-forward just as much as you might turn into a situation where you both are trying to out-do one another.
If you are more of a quite, reserved girl, you will need someone who is willing to be gentle and listen to you, someone who will be willing to lead the conversation and who will be willing to lead you since your personality is to sit back and listen rather than lead. You wouldn’t want someone who is the same way, quiet and not very assertive, where would that get you?!
You see how this works? You should get to know yourself and therefore in doing so, learn to be wise about what man should be able to get to know you! Also, if you want to marry a godly man it’s important to know what being a godly woman means. Do a study on godly womanhood. Read your bible, start a prayer journal, become active in ministry.
Get to know the Lord and He will bring a man into the picture. And it will be better than you ever dreamed of because of your trust in God.
Secondly, learn about men and what makes them tick.
When it comes to men you are either confused or think you know everything about them! We hear “men aren’t as complicated as women”, or “men are so predictable.” But I would like to give them more credit than that. Men are a mystery in and of themselves just like women are. I wish our culture would stop making men out to be dumb. I also wish that there would be more encouragement in manliness, but we’ll save that for another article.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that we need to get a new perspective on men. We shouldn’t look at them and form opinions so quickly. We also shouldn’t look at them so desperately because we want to get married. We should start viewing them as brothers in Christ and show them respect.
The three types of men.
I would highly recommend reading the book “Preparing to be a Help Meet” by Debi Pearl. In this book, Debi points out the three major types of men. The “prophet”, the “king” and the “priest”. She explains that the “prophet” type is a man who is a visionary, he has many grand ideas and wants a girl who can dream with him and support all of his adventures.
The “king” type is a man who is a born leader. He knows what needs to be done and he can get the job done with or without help. He is the king of his home and everyone looks to him for advice and help. This man needs a woman who will come by his side and serve and bless him happily without expecting anything in return. She would be his queen.
Finally, Debi uses the “priest” as an example of a man who is a servant. He is a steady man who is content with the same job, the same house and the same woman for his whole life. He loves people. He loves being able to help others. He cares only about the people in his life. He doesn’t try to be a huge success in life, it doesn’t interest him. A family and a home that he can provide for and bless is his dream ad he needs a woman who is willing to be his sweetheart for life.
Learning about the types of men and their needs is so important to learn before you become a wife. You need to know what kind of man you would best be suited with so that you can learn how to come alongside him and fill that position to the best of your ability! Learn how to treat our future husband with love and respect. When you should give him space and when you should speak. Obviously this comes with practice and learning on the job! But why not read as much about it before hand? What can it hurt?
Lastly, learn what is expected of a wife.
What comes after the wedding? Married life. Do you know what is expected of a wife besides cooking your husband dinner when he gets home from work?
It would be a good idea to find out from other married women or helpful books that talk about how wives should serve and bless their husbands in marriage. Learn how to make your house a palace, no matter how humble it may be. Learn how to be a good cook. Dress like you are going on a date as much as you possibly can so you look fresh when he comes home. Learn how to be a good mother to your children, learn how to encourage your husband in the Word of God.
All of this is part of being a Proverbs 31 woman and a Titus 2 wife. Read those chapters and do a lengthy word study on them. It it such great wisdom!
Being prepared for marriage will be a very rewarding investment to you and your future beloved. It may save you lots of trouble with trial and error encounters as well. Why not give it a try? Start prepping, girl! You will be priceless to your beloved, your worth far beyond any jewel. So get going…and tell me about it in the comments. I love hearing from you.