I’m Bored, Single, and Still Living at Home With My Mother!

I’m Bored, Single, and Still Living at Home With My Mother!

It was a beautiful summer day as I sat down on a lawn chair on our pool deck. A soft breeze blew in my hair and the sun shown warm rays on my face. I took a deep breath and a sip of my sweet tea. I stretched my legs out and wiggled my toes. Everything was quiet and peaceful. This was the beginning of a beautiful lazy afternoon and a perfect time to finish my book.

But I guess my mom had other plans. She loudly pushed open the screen door disrupting the fantasy world of my book.

“Lisa! I’m gonna need your help this afternoon. I’ve got to go into town to run errands, I need you to clean the house and make dinner”, she said smiling as if there were something to smile about!
Wow. Talk about child slave labor!
I followed her inside and she handed me “the list”. I physically, not verbally showed my disapproval and anger. I shrugged my shoulders and pouted while mom was explaining what to make for dinner. Mom hates leaving the house with her oldest daughter in a resentful mood. But she left anyway, hurt and disappointed.

This wasn’t the first time that scenario had taken place. As I sulked around the house cleaning and making up things that “I would say” to my mom if I could, I looked out the window. What did I see?! The boys running around the yard playing in the sprinklers and laughing the whole time! Why did they get to play? Why didn’t they have to work and cook? Couldn’t mom have given them some chores to do too? I got even more frustrated and angry.
Well I can tell you! At the end of that day, I had made each of my family members an enemy (in my own home) and disrupted the whole evening with my terrible mood.

I have a short questionnaire for you:
–Does the above story sound like how some of your days turn out?
–Are you tired of being asked to help out in the home?
–Do you have trouble wanting to help out in the home?
–Do you think that you shouldn’t have to be the one to clean, decorate, cook, or help with the kids?
— I mean you aren’t going to live there forever are you?
–Your mom is the woman of the house isn’t she?

If you answered “Yes” to any or all of those questions KEEP READING

Girls, first I want to point out that it is your God-given duty and responsibility to honor your Father and Mother in ALL things. You will not get far in your life or relationship with God if you don’t. And second, it is your God-given duty and responsibility as a daughter, living under the same roof as your parents and family to serve, bless, and do whatever your parents require of you.

In the above story I did what my mom asked me to do. I just didn’t do it willingly or with any diligence. I didn’t have even a hint of honor in my heart that day for my mom. I had nothing but laziness, lack of respect, pride, and selfishness in me that day.

You were put in your family as a daughter to be the helper to your mom (who is the helper to her husband, who is the helper to the home, community, and America at large). You were called to serve, not BE served. You were called to bless, not BE blessed.  You catch my drift.

We think that because we are still single we have a license to do what we want. We lay around and wait like our home with mom is temporary and sort of like a jail… 😉 We sit around reading romantic novels and creating the perfect dream boy in our minds. We pin wedding ideas on Pinterest just to pass the time till that day really comes! Why? Because we are not content.

We think “home is boring, brothers and sisters are annoying and I’m still waiting for lover boy to fulfill my needs and dreams.”

I am sure that you love the Lord and want to do what’s right. You want a godly man and maybe someday a wonderful family and home of your own!  Your ambitions aren’t wrong, so then what is?

Let me tell you a little story.

Allie was 18. She lived at home with her mom and loved attending church, youth group and other such godly events. Oh, and she was always on the lookout for a “possible” (A.K.A possible suitor). She had 4 other brothers and sisters who were all younger than herself. Allie had great potential of getting married and being a good wife. She loved God, she already had younger siblings that she knew how to care for, and she could cook a dinner!

These are all great attributes according to the world’s view of a young lady in line for getting married. But Allie didn’t know what was going to be expected of her once she was married. At home she was lazy. She lived for Friday nights. She watched movies. She engaged a lot of her time on Facebook and other social networks. Allie didn’t like helping her mom with chores around the house. Allie hated making breakfast first thing in the morning and she was always texting and thinking of her friends and her social life. Maybe this will catch her a man. But do you think her “godly man” will want to put up with a lazy, unlearned, social queen?

If you want a long lasting relationship with your husband, you’re going to have to wise up and buckle down for a long ride of PREPARING; preparing to be a wife, mother, homemaker, coach, mentor, and all the other qualities and requirements that come with having a husband, house and children.  And where is the best place to start learning? That’s right, you guessed it! In your OWN HOME!

Before the marriage, before the children, you have to learn right here, right now. Ask your mom for help and advice.  Start cooking and baking more for your family. Read more books about being a housewife and mother. Exercise and eat healthy food before entering a marriage and motherhood. Begin long lasting habits that will prepare you for your life and future ahead that God has in store for you.

God did not create you or put you in a home so that you could sit around until you were married. He put you in a home so you could learn and prepare yourself for life! Our homes are a place of learning, of constructing, creating, shaping, molding and training. It’s the calm before the storm.

Our homes and our mother’s guidance are like a cocoon for us.  We are here to be trained and prepared for life before we spread our wings. Enjoy it while you are still at home! Learn with eagerness! Train with determination! And please don’t do it just so you can look good and catch a man. Do it for the Glory of God. Do it for your future family.

The next time your mom asks you to help out when you were planning on doing something else, jump up and say “sure mom!” Think of it as good practice. How would you do it if your husband asked you? “What honey?! Make your own sandwich!” 😉 No. I don’t think so…

Don’t think of singleness as a sad state of life to be living in. Think of it as the beautiful training grounds for marriage!

 ~Lisa

The labor of the righteous leads to life,
The wages of the wicked to sin. Psalms 10:16 

  • Right now I am wondering why God gave me 4 daughters when I am never going to teach them this. hmmmm. It just sounds so 1800’s. I agree with parts just not the whole.

  • Yeah, I would tell my husband to make his own sandwich unless he was laying in bed with multiple broken limbs.

  • Great article! Thank you. It is always a Godly thing to esteem others higher than oneself and to serve. Jesus showed us this when he, the King of Creation, washed the feet of his disciples. We are definitely NOT better than Jesus.

  • I think it is a high privilege and blessing to be able to serve others. It shows a heart of servanthood and humility. This isn’t to say that serving others while they sit around and simply take advantage of your hard work is wise. For, we must all assist with chores and seek to be a blessing in this way to those around us. I admire women who care for their homes and are content with being a homemaker and godly help-meet for their husbands. As a single girl still living at home with my parents, I can testify to what a joy it is for my mom when I help with chores or offer to make dinner. Surely, moms have so much to take care of and it can be tiring to take the responsibility of maintaining an organized home on yourself as the mom. It would be nice to raise kids, both male and female, who know how to keep their room and work/play space organized and who learn how to maintain a clean room…rather than allowing junk to pile up. It also teaches responsibility and instills in them a heart that knows how to take care of all God has “entrusted” them with; i.e. toys, video games, clothing, shoes, etc.

  • So glad to see this post! I love taking care of my husband, family & home. I cant think of the last time my hubby made his own sandwich! And that is fine…you see he works very hard to allow me to be a SAHM. Why would I not take care of him? I believe that the man is the head of the home & that as his wife, I am doing my God ordained ministry of caring for him & my family! I am so glad to say that my girls are following in my footsteps & are learning to be homemakers as well. And in case some where thinking that I am some old fuddy…I am in my 30s! I love the man God has given me & I love the fact that he follows God and puts his family before himself!

    • Awesome LeAnn! Keep up the good work and set Jesus before you always… Raise your beautiful daughters to be strong enough to combat their generation of worldliness. God bless!
      For God, for family,
      ~Lisa

  • Danielle

    I didn’t realize this at the time when I was growing up but this is exactly what my mom was teaching me. She would sometimes complain that my dad was spoiled and doesn’t know how to take care of himself but he did work very hard so she could be a SAHM… my dream is to be a SAHM so that I can take care of my family the same way she did. I love the “old fashioned” way my parents raised me and my brothers and I plan to teach my daughter(s) the same.

    • That is so awesome! Mothers are amazing are they not? I am glad God has called you to be a keeper of your home and a mother! Not many girls are brave enough or strong enough to make that decision. God bless!
      For God, for family,
      ~Lisa

  • Yours is the first post I’ve read about Godly homemaking from a single perspective… so awesome! I used to read couples’ devotionals before I got married… weird, I know. I had a friend ask me if why I was reading them if I wasn’t married. I just told him I was studying for when I was!

    • Rachel,
      I read books and devotionals for married women all the time and I am single! It is such good knowledge for when you are married and great preparation! I read books written for moms as well. I want to know everything before I am married or am a mother so I will have wisdom for when I am! Thank you for your comment, please share with other girls you know to spread the vision of godly womanhood! God bless!
      For God, for family,
      ~Lisa

  • I absolutely love this post. I’m still living at home and I do sometimes get resentful when my mom asks me to do something. We bump heads A LOT (she’s going through “the change,” so it’s not all my fault). My dad says that we are two lionesses circling around the house. I sometimes have to remind myself that she is the Alpha and I am the Alpha In Training. I do help out around the house when I can, but somedays I just wanna rest. Thank you SO much for sharing this!

  • Michelle

    I stumbled upon your page while trying to find the “what you mother should have told you” tips that I had seen on fb.

    HOW WONDERFUL THIS PAGE IS! I am heart touched by your post and pray you are very successful in your endeavor to encourage young women aspire to be the wives and moms we are designed to be. As a wife and mom of almost 28 years, it is the highest calling and a most noble one. Sadly, our society on the whole does not see it that way, but with your continued voice, I pray that one day we see the return of balance.

    • Michelle,

      Thank you so much for your sweet comment and encouragement! I am glad God has brought you to our blog. With God’s help and guidance I hope to reach many girls and share our vision of Godly homemaking with them. Prayers would be very much appreciated! Thank you again and God bless.

      For God, for family,
      ~Lisa

  • Katelyn

    What a great read! This gave me an entirely new perspective on being unmarried and still living at home at 21 years old. Thank you! I can’t wait to read more!

  • Jane

    I’m really loving this blog. I was beginning to think i was the only girl who thought this way! I’m enjoying reading all of these posts, and breathing out a sigh of relief that I’m not alone in this crazy world. This is an incredibly encouraging blog. I look forward to reading more.
    I’m eighteen, and still at home, no plans or desire for college (I’ve been home schooled for the majority of my life). For a while I was quite self-centered, and I didn’t help out much in my home, so basically I was just living at home (I did not have my driver’s license until September of 2013). Last year my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia, and I had to step up to the plate. Now, I enjoy caring for my family, helping my mom out with dishes, laundry, and driving my four younger siblings to-and-fro. I still wonder about my future, and pray for my future husband, but I also enjoy serving my family and being able to glorify God at home, until He reveals His plan for the rest of my life. I’m following God’s heart, instead of following my own.
    Thank you so much for this blog, and especially this post. So glad I found it!

  • I am a mom to 6 children. One daughter is now an adult and has been at home this last year as my teacher’s assistant and home helper as well as it being a training time for her future. We have had some times of resistance, but it has been so precious to me to see her return a few minutes later and apologize for being selfish, or angry, or lazy, etc. She is a hard worker and I have also seen her recognize that when she lets reading take over – the “fun” reading, her attitude deteriorates and she has disciplined herself by denying herself any fun reading for a month at a time. That takes discipline! Other times, she determines to get certain work done before any fun reading. I have had some health issues this year and need extra rest, so her help has been needed…….and so precious. I have seen her grow more patient with her siblings (usually!! 🙂 as she encourages them or grades their Math, etc. We all get tired of our responsibilities – even as adult women caring for our families….and it is easy to allow selfishness to rule. At such times, we need to turn our focus back to Christ and what He would have us to do whether we are single or married. Getting married will NOT make this any easier….we all dreamed of “happily ever after”, but the truth is that we are a sinner and we marry another sinner and learning to deny ourselves is a lifelong pursuit. By the way, my daughter and I enjoy a blessed friendship. I marvel at watching her mature into a beautiful godly woman who will be ready to assume the responsibilities of marriage one day and I love seeing the work God is doing in her. I am also thankful as I did not have any such training when I was her age….and it would have been so helpful to me……..and to my husband. Thank you for a great post………not a popular idea in our culture, but then, serving Christ has never been “popular”. It will never be easier to learn to deny self than it is right now….how wise it is to learn that now, before years of letting self rule make such even more difficult. Thank you again.

  • Thanks for Writing this! I struggle with all of this at one time or another and this is very helpful! Great blog!

  • Brenda

    Wow!!! This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I am in my early 20s and I am still living at home with my mom and only my mom because my father passed away two years ago from Cancer. When my father first got sick, my entire world flipped upside down, and I had to help my mom as much as I could. She had to step up and become the lead pastor at our church when he passed away, leaving me in charge of a lot more at home. So many times these types of questions went through my head! I would always feel so guilty if I did help out with a bad attitude. I felt like there was a Proverbs 31 rule book I was breaking or something. Ha! I really believe that God puts the desire to strive for biblical womanhood. I think as women we are created to be homemakers and it’s something men will never have. I disagree that this sounds like 1800s, or to extreme. I think that our generation has lost this kind of purity, modesty, and work ethic. And that’s why it might seem outdated, but it’s not. God is the same God He was yesterday! He hasn’t changed! There are morals we should strive for forever. This has really impacted my life because I’ve been searching for other girls that feel the same way I do. I am so glad you are doing this and I pray and encourage you to continue!!!! No matter what anybody says! This is amazing, and it is a call to bring back a virtuous generation of godly women. Thank you girls!:-) If I can help in anyway please let me know, I would love to!