Because I’m a young single twenty-something, people often offer me advice about relationships.
They tell me to make sure I’m not being taken for granted.
To make sure I’m getting something back in return.
To make sure the relationships I enter into are two-way streets.
To make sure that I’m appreciated. That my gestures are reciprocated.
I brought you a cupcake at work. Now it’s your turn to bring me one.
And I appreciate all of you people giving me this advice. I know it comes from love. It comes from wanting to see the person you care for valued in her relationships. It comes from being protective. But I have news for you:
I don’t want that 50/50 relationship you’re talking about…
It’s likely that you’ve been told before that you should dress modestly to help the men in your life not lust. I know I was told was that if I was wearing something that was too “revealing,” men would just be picturing me naked automatically. It was presented to me as a reaction that they couldn’t help but have. So, if I didn’t want men picturing me naked, I needed to make sure they didn’t..
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to fall in love.
Cinderella, Belle, Snow White – they had it all.
In my imagination, after the picture-perfect wedding to the most handsome Prince Charming, they went on to have a family and live happily ever after. It is the dream of most every little girl, and I knew, specifically, how I wanted it to play out for me. I wanted to have been friends for a while before we dated, get married at 21, and then have kids at 24.
As I grew older, this dream was persistent. It changed, just slightly, as the years went on; ages changed, give or take a few years, and as new crushes moved in, the face of my groom certainly changed, but my dream of happily ever after never wavered. In fact, am currently almost 22 years old and this dream is still just as present in my heart. But right now, there is just one little issue:
I’m single. There is no Prince Charming in the picture.
The other day might have been quite possibly one of the most frustrating difficult days of the entire year for me. I was frazzled, frustrated, scared, lonely, and hurt. I was at the end of my rope and about to break down at any second. I remember walking through the store about to burst into tears so I went into the bathroom to be alone. When I walked in and looked in the mirror I let loose. I cried and cried. I had been holding onto way too much junk and not talking to anyone about it. As I cried I looked down at the sink and saw a piece of a paper towel with handwriting on it. I picked it up and read these words: “Remember who you are”. There were little seagulls drawn around those beautiful words. I don’t know why but this note comforted me more than you would have thought.
A complete stranger had written those words and left them to be found by another stranger. God knew I needed that message. God knew that I needed to remember who I was. And who am I? These last few weeks that is exactly the question I have been asking myself. Who am I in this world? What is my purpose? What if my dreams and desires aren’t what God has planned for my life? What will I be doing 5 years from now? Who am I?
June fifteenth of this year marked my eighteenth birthday. By God’s grace, I’ve successfully circled the sun enough times that I’m considered an adult.
When I was twelve I was encouraged by the leader of my Bright Lights group to write a letter to my future self. It’s funny to see how dreams can change over the years. I wanted to share with you the letter I wrote, and a response I wrote to my twelve-year-old self.
Sometimes it’s encouraging to look back and see that some things really do work out how you hoped. And at the same time, the things that don’t turn out how you want them to are God’s way of saying He has something else planned for you.
The Fourth of July is tomorrow! When we, as a country celebrate our independence. Our freedom. Our country. But something got me thinking about how our country expresses our freedom. In some ways we express our freedom through love, through religion and other ways that represent good morale. But for the most part, I think America expresses it’s freedom with an arrogant, headstrong selfish attitude.
One of the most prominent ways America expresses its freedom is through feminism. Feminists have such a huge megaphone right now and they use it in any way they can to shovel their ideas and lifestyles down this country’s throat. I know that that is a very strong statement but I feel like it is no longer the “Land of the Free”, or the “Home of the Brave”. I think it is the Land of the Free Woman and the Home of the Feminist.
Friends are awesome. I hope that everyone has at least one, true, amazing friend that they stay in contact with for their whole lives. I have been blessed to meet so many different people from different stages of my life. My family moved a lot. And I mean A LOT! I’ve met so many amazing people and each group of friends that I’ve had have ministered to me for the specific time of life I was experiencing at that time.
Having friends should inspire us to be good friends to the people in our lives in return. Growing up, I couldn’t wait to start driving and asking friends to meet me places so that we could talk about our lives and about the Lord. Ministering to friends and encouraging them in the Lord is one of the most special, genuine, things you can do for your friendships.
How should we speak as Christians? This is something that I have been pondering a lot lately for my own life as a Christian young adult. Right now in our culture we seem to be oftentimes bombarded with people speaking cuss words or talking in a mean or foul way. You hear it on TV and in movies, you find it on the internet and through social media, sadly, you can even it hear when you’re out and..
“I’m hot, I’m sexy and I’m in control.”
A few years back a friend of mine pulled up the computer to show me pictures of a semi-finalist on the popular show America’s Next Top Model. It just so happened that the girl competing for the Top Model title attended my friends university.
My friend was so shocked by how “fierce” this girl looked in her photos that she just had to show me. This girl definitely had the “I’m hot, I’m sexy and I’m in control” fierce look going on. She must have been trained well by the shows host, Tyra Banks.
This whole idea of being fierce was attractive to me. I wanted people to look at me and think “Wow! She’s got it”. But then I remembered that I was a Christian and the idea just didn’t seem right.
Let’s talk about happily ever after.
Several years ago I created a list of 30 things I wanted to do before turning 30 years old, a bucket list, if you will. When I originally created this 30×30 list and gave my dreams to God, I had no idea that I would be blessed to cross off 29 of those 30 items. God is good.
To be quite honest, I almost put “get married” on the list. Almost.
A happy, healthy, long-term relationship–sounds like a normal thing for a twenty-something girl to want, right? So why wasn’t it on the list? If it’s something I want someday in my future then that seems like a natural thing to put on the list, right?