I couldn’t do it anymore. I was tired of pretending that everything was “okay”. I was tired of faking to have a good relationship with Jesus. I was tired of looking and acting like a good Christian girl. I was giving up… It had been a long hard 6 months. I was scared, lonely and tired of pretending. I wanted to run into my room, shut the door and never come out.
We all have times in our lives when we feel distant from God. We hold our feelings in because we are scared of feeling like a horrible person for not trusting that God is good all the time. We don’t even want God knowing about our lack of faith in Him. So we go on pretending until we are tired out and simply can’t pretend any more.
How do you feel about yourself right now? When the lights go off and you’re all alone, when you can take off the mask and stop the big pretend, how do you really feel about yourself?
Some people are amazingly confident and full of hope. But the rest of us resemble a crumpled piece of paper – worn out, tired, rejected, regarded as useless and an all-round complete failure.
We pretend, tell lies and try to laugh through our pain, there’s no point reaching out to anyone to tell them how you feel, they won’t get it. We struggle with feelings of permanent despair, fear and discouragement. Sound familiar?
I knelt on the side of the raised garden bed pulling the weeds from the moist ground. My hair whipped in my face; I should have pulled it back before my hands got dirty. The spring afternoon sun warmed my back and shoulders, reminding me that winter was really, truly gone from Ohio.
I am one of the few that enjoy pulling weeds. The dirt under my fingernails, the excuse to be outside in the sun, the time to be alone and think. As I pulled the weeds in the strawberry bed I thought about how our sins are like weeds.
“Take a deep breath. Here we go again” I tell myself. I was about to explain why I was saving my first kiss again. It’s not that I didn’t like telling others why I was saving my first kiss for marriage, it’s just that I already know the feedback I will get once I explain it. How did we get on this subject anyways? I forget.
*Sigh. “Well, ” I begin, “When I was little my parents told me that..
( Guest Post by Kristen Clark)
“Hey, my friend wanted me to tell you that he thinks you’re pretty.” This young whippersnapper pointed across the basketball gym towards his friend. I glanced across the gym and noticed a good looking guy sitting on the second row.
“Oh really?” I said raising my eyebrows. “Well, then tell your friend to come tell me that himself.” I smiled.
The guy shook his head..
It’s a beautiful picture, right? Whenever I’m upset or anything, he knows exactly what to say, understands me perfectly (because he’s Mr. Perfection, of course)…
Megan looked out the window at the wind blowing in the trees, the rain trickling down on the grass and she let out a heavy sigh. It was another lonely Saturday that she would be spending by herself again. She wished she had a “bosom friend” as Anne Shirley of Green Gables so eloquently put it. Of course she had friends or acquaintances but a close, dear, priceless, friend was what Meg had..
( Guest Post )
Since graduating high school almost 7 years ago, I have attended, 6 weddings, been a bridesmaid 4 times, caught 2 bouquets and have attended 9 baby showers all by the age of 24. After being in or attended so many weddings, people start to say the ever popular ‘you’re next!’ phrase. When that happens, simply say ‘we will see’, smile and keep on dancing away.
It’s extremely easy to..
It’s not fair. Three little words that sparked the feminist movement. Women didn’t think it was fair that men were treated more importantly than women. They thought they were viewed with lesser value than the men and it wasn’t fair. In some aspects this was true and in some cultures today women are treated with little to no respect. But in my personal opinion I think America has become infested..
Memories. We all have them. They have the power to make us happy, sad, depressed, or excited. God gave us memories to help us remember what has happened in the past so that they may, in some way, affect our current behavior.
However, some memories are too painful to bear. Some memories bring to mind things that make us wish we had no memory at all. These memories tie us down to pain, guilt,..