Where Are All of the Godly Men?

Where Are All of the Godly Men?

Hashtags are very popular now-a-days aren’t they? This is funny, I tagged the word “godly” in a tweet on our Twitter account the other day and 80% of the tweets that were posted under the tag “godly” said “where are all the godly men at?” Then I did a Google search on the question.  And I realized there were thousands of girls who were wondering the same thing.

So where are all the Godly Men?

-Well in answer to that question, I wrote this article.

The answers in all the articles I found were about how pastors, mentors or parents could “fix the men” and their problems by talking to the boys and men, about how to help them. The rest of the articles were how girls could find a Christian guy. The whole time I was thinking to myself “those poor guys!”

If we are to help the men at all, girls will need to respect the men and treat them like men. We cannot go on asking them “why aren’t you godlier?” this only demeans them and robs them of respect and honor. The question alone hurts and weakens the men in our generation.

We must make them feel needed and strong. We will need to step down from the commanding feminist role that women have been so long engaged in and give the leading role back to the men who are under God and God alone.

Every good Christian girl is wondering, “Where are the manly men in this world?” “Are there men out there besides the high-school boys who are just after drama and media?” “Are there men who love the Lord and want to raise a family like me, and if so, then where are they?”

Well girls, I’m sorry I have to be the one to break the news to you, but it’s not the boys that are missing. It’s you.  What?! Bear with me. Godly men are out there, but it’s not up to you to find them. It’s not up to you to know where they are. It’s not even your place to ask where they are!  Because by asking you are failing the test; the test of faith given to all single girls (by God) asking them to entrust their hearts and futures into His wise and all powerful hands.

Would you be able to trust God with your future? With your relationship? With your life?

It might be that you are not called or meant to be married. It’s up to God. I know that’s a scary thought for some women and to be honest, it scares me too. But what if God has called you to that lifestyle? Would you still have faith in God. Would you still choose to follow Him, or would you abandon your convictions, compromise your godly lifestyle and seek out a man without Gods help? (Food for thought)

I know a story of a beautiful young lady who was a Pastors sister. She was a missionary and loved the Lord. She trusted him with her future and didn’t know if she would be married or not. But she didn’t care because she knew God had a plan. She was content in Him and waited patiently for Him to give her the desires of her heart. And not until she was 39 did God bring the right man into her life and was able to be married!

Can you trust God in the same way?

We say to ourselves “Well I want a Taylor Swift- Love Story kind of relationship.” (Only with a Christian guy, who looks like a One Direction singer) 😉

Girls, sometimes-most of the time, that’s not real life. We need to open our eyes to the reality of what it truly means to trust God with our futures and embrace real life. Real life is found in the relationships you invest in, your family, your church, your community of like-minded believers. Real life is the here and now.

Try focusing your time and energy on doing things that will make a long lasting effect on the people around you. In our day and age, there are so many people who are hungry to know what true Christianity looks like. There are not very many trustworthy examples of Christ’s love, not even in the church-sad to say. Instead of focusing on trying to find a godly guy, try becoming the woman that he needs in his life by being an example of a pure bride who loves Jesus and displays His love to others.

When it all comes down, the real question is not “where are all the godly men?”

It’s “where/who are the girls placing their hopes in these days?” Are they placing their hopes in guys who act more like high school characters than manly men of the faith? Are they placing their hope in someone who will save them from their boring lives at home? Are they placing their hope in a future “dream career”?

Or are they placing their hope in God and what He is doing in their lives?

Ladies, in the Bible Jesus says:  “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things…For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matt 6:33-34, 21

So where is your heart placing it’s joy and contentment these days? Is it safely resting in Jesus hands? Don’t worry. He’s got everything under control. After all He formed you and made your beautiful smile that, God willing, a man someday will not be able to live without!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Will you let me know what you thought of this article? Answer a few of the questions in the comments below or leave your thoughts in the comments instead.

-Have you ever wondered where your godly man was?
-Are you discouraged that you may not be married?
-Will you continue to place your trust and contentment in Jesus?
-Will you make an effort to effect the lives around you by living out Christs love in your life?

God bless!

Lisa Sig.1


















  • Jane McDonald

    I fully hearted agree with your sentiment! It is time young ladies learned that no boy will ever become a godly man if he isn’t encouraged in the right way to do so. Instead of asking him, “Why don’t you quit playing your video games?” let him know, discretely and anonymously, that his good qualities are being taken note of. Should you ever get married, you’ll be doing the same thing , so why not start laying a foundation for that good quality of encouragement in your own life? And if God blesses you with singleness, your father or pastor will have a woman who is not hindered by the cares of this world and can encourage him, because he needs it, too.
    Young men today have a lot to battle with, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. Help them in the battle, don’t hinder them in your manners or customs.
    Thank you for your thought provoking article.

    In Christ,

    • Thank you Jane, that was very encouraging. I am glad you liked the article! The world won’t change unless someone is willing to step out and begin the change themselves. It starts with the heart of the home. =) God bless!

  • Lisa, I also liked your article. I’m your neighbor at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. Women/Girls have gotten a little, well… A LOT too aggressive today. Kim

    • I agree Kim! It is sad…but with God all things are possible! God saved and restored our country many times and He can do it again!
      For God, for family,

  • Excellent!! I have often asked myself (or God) where the Godly men are, not for myself, but for sisters or friends who haven’t been brought the right man yet. But when I look around and don’t see any, I remember than when I was unmarried, I didn’t see any then either. But God sees them! And He will bring them in His time. Well said!

  • Dee

    Wow. I am sharing this with all my friends. I have been guilty of asking this question. I have spent hours in Starbucks with my girlfriends discussing this or a variation of this topic. Another funny thing is that young men really do feel the pressure from us, a friend of mine admitted it himself! Thank you for posting, it is really an eye opener, glory to God!

    • I am glad you got to read it! Thank you for sharing with others… God bless!

  • Lisa, this is beautiful. I’m going to e-mail this to my daughters. Great advice. : )

    Visiting from the ‘Deep Roots at Home’ blog hop.

  • I love this! I’m sharing this with my best-girlfriend. 🙂

  • You bring up an issue that is huge today. It seems as though every generation has particular problems to endure (or perhaps we should say, certain crosses to carry). The unmet desire of many Christian women for marriage seems a prominent one of our time. You are right that it helps to recognize that this unmet desire is not be something to fix with ten steps, a few books, or a certain system of prayer. It is something that God has given to us– maybe like St. Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God is the one who gives us strength to carry it, forgives us when we fail to accept our burden, and works all things for good. That’s not always how we want to feel about it, but it’s true! 🙂

    • Thank you for your thoughts Anna! Keep our country in your prayers. God bless!

  • Anna Ramos

    The sad news is that the question is a valid one. The reply is also just as valid. It is true that there is a major lack of Men in our culture. Yet we women have not simply been called to spend our time pining over this relatively small problem. In other times and places there have always been a shortage of men, but usually because they got killed in war or some accident before they could marry, or shortly after. The only place that doesn’t have this problem is China, which is overloaded with single young men, and estimated that over 10% of the population is christian, out of a +1billion population, chances are that all the godly men are over there! Though I don’t know that many women are willing to travel to China to find a godly mate. Although it may not be a bad idea!
    One other thing. It is good and encouraging to not find fault with men, and to encourage them to do well rather than criticizing their shortcomings, however, when faced with choosing a husband who is not a man yet, and patiently encouraging and praying for his maturity, be warned, this may take many years. It may never happen. You WILL (not may) be married to a ten year old in a grown body for life–unless God does a true miracle–on his timing–not yours. Ask yourself, do you want a father for your children, or an immature child, whom you cannot train up in the way he should go– as your children’s parent? For most women, I recommend remaining single, as Paul preaches, to be free to be devoted to the Lord’s work, unless one cannot control one’s passions. There are some to whom God gives the calling of marriage with an immature individual, however, their road is long, difficult and steep, and fraught with many dangers and risks. It can be done, but is not for the faint of heart. We as women also must be careful to become women and not just girls playing dress up! Thanks for your post!

  • Hi there Lisa 🙂

    I could not agree with your sentiments more wholeheartedly, the reason being that I have learnt them to be true by experiencing this in my own life. For most of my younger teenage years, I would spring on any new attractive guy who came into my social circle as if he was prey. However, age 17 in January of last year, after another failed relationship, I decided that I was sick of behaving like this; thus I spent a year growing with the Lord, with Him on the throne of my heart. I laid down my desire to be married and asked God that His perfect timing prevail. And it did. Out of the blue only a year after my decision to get serious about the things of God, he brought an old acquaintance of twenty years of age into my life, and after a few months of growing in friendship and Godliness together, he made known his deep love for me and his intention to marry me. Since that day it has been six months, and I have not looked back once. Truly God’s plan is superior to man’s in every respect!

    My encouragement to other believing young ladies is Psalm 37:4–‘Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.’ Make Him your focus and not finding Mr Right. God has your future husband. Pray for him daily. Draw close to the Father and allow Him to prepare you to be that unique and perfectly suited help meet that your future husband needs. You will never regret this decision. Believe me, I have not yet.

    The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you!

    • Jessica,

      This is an amazing testimony and I couldn’t be more happy for you! God seems to shower blessings on us with such vigor after we’ve surrendered our lives and dreams to Him. I was so blessed by your story I was wondering if I could post it on our blog and Facebook page? It would be such an inspiration and encouragement to all the young lady followers… Thank you so much for sharing and God bless!

      For God, for family,

      • I’m so glad that my story encouraged you! You are more than welcome to post it on your Facebook page and anywhere else that you would like 🙂

  • Your post made me think of a fantastic article I read recently on Crosswalk.com called “All I’ve Dreamed of Is Being a Wife and Mother.” The author shares some really wise words 🙂

  • I know where they are!! I married one, raised three of them and two are available! LOL….seriously I agree with your post, it was great. I am thankful to have raised My Three Sons in the church and that they are all serving God today. There are a lot of good, godly men out there, it depends on what you are looking for 🙂 Blessings to you!

  • Beautifully put! When I was single & young, I heard a Christian speaker say that you should not seek a man to “complete” you but rather you should work toward being complete in Christ.

    I didn’t look for a spouse – I didn’t expect to marry. But, I NEVER had the impression there weren’t great men out there – lots of my friends had Godly husbands! When I was well into middle age, God sent me a lovely husband – and then – when I was nearly too old – a delightful daughter : )

    Too many women are hanging out on Facebook or at Starbucks or even at a local bar, and wondering why God doesn’t send a Godly man their way. Well, is FB, Starbucks or the Bar the best place for you – or for a man – to Grow in Christ? Why do you expect Godly men to spend copious amounts of time there?

    Be the person God wants you to be – let HIM worry about sending you a match.

  • What an encouragement to a guy too.. It is funny how perspectives can be relative. There are guys out there wondering the exact same thing. In a sea of yoga pants and daisy dukes and non-discretionary women who love mainstream pop music and tv shows and materialism that promotes ungodliness, yet all of them probably profess to know Christ, where are the real godly women? Where are the ones who actually have a relationship with Christ because they know what His word says, and they even try to obey it! And what is a man to do while waiting? Ha, just like you said, be patient and trust in God not only to bring the right one, but to prepare your own heart for her. We men should be dealing with our own relationship with Christ and let God arrange the encounter when He knows our hearts are ready.

  • Amanda M. Jeane

    A great way to look at a question or statement we hear all the time. I am guilty of it as well – its only been in the past 1 1/2 year that I have really embraced this season of singleness in my 30’s. Finding comfort and awesomeness in Godly friendship and relationships. Encouraging others and not focusing on the romance – but knowing that season will come when God brings it. Eye opening article – thank you!! Sharing with my singles Sunday school class via Facebook. You hit a lot of point made in “why I kissed dating goodbye”.

  • Kali

    This article was a wonderful encouragement. There are times when I struggle with this, but you are right. God is completely in control, and I can safely trust in Him. Thanks for sharing.

  • Lynn Boyd

    I think it’s important to not that not all expressions of femisnism is ‘commanding’ or in any way demeaning to men and their value. It cannot be assumed that Christian single women with feminist views do no value men and desire them to be under the leadership of God as Christ is over the Church. I get my back up when outdated or misconstrued arguments are made based on loose assumptions about men and women’s roles and the current attitudes of single Christian worn today. Not all are domineering. There is a place for God – Announted and called women in leadership in the Church and home. We are unique women who’s personality is outgoing and dynamic. We do not put men under the thumb. We are confident, educated and have a career. Yes we can marry and have children too. Not one personality, calling, anointing, gender is any less valuable than another. My inspiration comes from the women in the Bible and the men. I ready ow Jesus lifted up women and Paul said we are nothing without love. Many christian men & women aren’t in the church due to discouragement. Some shy girls & guys need to modelling and guidance because they don’t know how to communicate and how to know if the other person likes them. Many friends have asked me for dating advice and are very frustrated sexually and needlessly guilt ridden from misinformation about sex education in Churches. Yes I believe there is a place for youth groups to do courses on dating, sexuality, marriage, communication skills and break down those cold mindset so full of condemnation and no joy or grace.

  • Tabitha Laudon

    Very good! Valid point! 🙂

  • Kristy

    Although I can see the authors points, and agree with some, I can tell you from experience, there is a depletion of committed Godly men out there if you are over 40. Don’t forget perspective is everything. I just turned 50 I am told I do not look my age all the time, and have an 11yr old still at home, my EX of 20 yrs., passed away 9 month after our divorce in Dec 08, living as a single mom for 7 yrs now. Being an older mom with a younger child with no every other weekend because of his passing has been very difficult as I have almost no social life, with no outside support system, family etc… Many Single Men my age are just as emotionally immature and carnal as the young men, many other single women have shared that with me as well. Many -yes even church going men -are very superficial -looks are everything, your career, income bracket, and many are very materialistic. Most men especially if they have gone through a divorce do not want to be married again, they would rather fornicate than get legally entangled with a woman again. Many will tell you they are Christian and they do attend church, but its all appearances they are not truly Godly men. Many would rather have a FWB friends with benefits situation then have a real relationship. My daughter asks for pray for a new father over and over again, with tears in her eyes, I am so tired of trying to explain to her that God has a plan, over and over again, not understanding why he has not given her a new father yet. Its gotten very frustrating trying to come up with new answer for her as time marches on.

    • Happy Tappy

      Same here. I haven’t found one post on this site that talks about the man being pure. I’m a 22 year old virgin and I have never met a male virgin in any of my churches (and I have been at twenty different ones because my parents move around alot). Everyone makes fun of me and tells me that there is more to a man “than whats between his legs.” How come God wants women to be virgins but not men? How come everyone tells women to be good little helpmeets and pure and modest and expect them to marry something that has had his ***** up a 100 different women?? This has caused me to vow never to get married. I cried from the time I was 14 (I learned about sex when I was 13) to the time when I was 19 (when I finally decided I hated men) because I suddenly realized that I would never find that strong, christian husband would be pure like me that I had been dreaming about and praying for since I was a teenager. And I’m not going to let people bully me and make me feel bad because I want a guy who hasn’t had sex yet (as if I’m evil for that)!!!! Christian women have had nothing to say about this. They say things that make me hate men and marriage even more and I am just being pushed away so far that these women are actually turning me into a bitter, angry ball of raging fire. When I tried to explain to my mom that I wanted a virgin husband she basically said I was insane and sick and that no woman on the face of the planet, especially Christian women, want a husband with no sexual experience. I no longer want that teenage dream any more about the pure, Christian husband. I have walked away from men forever. I never want to get married, not ever. If God expects women to keep their virginity until their wedding night but not men (which is what most Christians believe) then maybe I don’t want anything to do with God either. It’s ridiculous to expect a virgin who has never even seen a naked man to hop into bed with someone who has already has sex and knows what a naked woman looks like. I’m done with it. I’m not letting some pervert have my body. People can call me insane but I am done with it all. After having beaten over my head for nine years that I am a sicko for wanting a virgin husband and that no such thing exists, I am done with it. I don’t a man. I don’t need anyone.

      • Hi. I have to say, your comment is very depressing and crude. I don’t know where you go to church or where you get your logic but I can assure you no one thinks you are crazy or “sick” to want to marry a man who is sexually pure. I think every Christian woman would like to marry someone who hasn’t given their body away before marriage. No where in the Bible does God say it’s ok for men to be sexually impure and wrong for women to be. That being said, it is difficult to find man like that in this day and age but it is not impossible. I have met so many men who have grown up in Christian homes and are saving themselves for marriage-all four of my brothers being some of them. I’ve met them in church, online, and through friends. So it’s not impossible. However, sometimes God leads us to men who have (God forbid) made mistakes in their younger years and been promiscuous but God forgives them and calls us to do the same. So many women who have saved themselves for marriage and dreamed of meeting someone who has done the same meet and MARRY a man who has made mistakes and is not a virgin. Including myself!! I met and married the love of my life who had only a few years prior had been married to another woman…and I wouldn’t trade our life together for a split second! If i had been self righteous and prideful and stubborn and stood my ground and said “eww! You’ve been with another woman” I would have never married Dylan and been missing out on the best years of my entire life. I am going to say a few things now that you will probably hate me for…
        It seems to me from your hateful comment that you are a self righteous and bitter person. I don’t know any man who would want to marry you with the kind of mindset that you have against men and sex. Your view of a godly relationship and sex is so skewed it makes me sad. God created sex to be a special, passionate relationship only to be used inside of a marriage. However, sin entered the world and sex has been misused ever since. But to say that you hate all men for wanting to have such a blessing in marriage is unbelievably rude. Also, how can you be judgmental of men being impure when God judges all sin as the same? Even if you met some PERFECT guy in your eyes who had never had sex before marriage I can assure you that he has had impure thoughts about women and looked at women with lust in his heart which is the same thing as adultery according to Jesus in Matthew chapter 6. Would you hate him too and want nothing to do with him then? I am not standing up for men who have blown it in their past, I am just saying that they are fallen humans and have made mistakes in their life which I am sure they regret if they are God honoring men. Your comment is degrading, full of hate and untruths. I hope and pray that you get a different perspective on men and sex sometime in your life so that you don’t go through life hating men and having such a cynical point of view which I’m sure is NOT God honoring. Have you never made mistakes or thought impure thoughts before? What if all women were as prideful and bitter as you? I don’t think men would want to have anything to do with us. Thank goodness Jesus never thought those kind of thoughts about us. Where would we be? Please reconsider your entire point of view. Drop you unrealistic expectations and learn the meaning behind the word GRACE. God came to save sinners-not the people who thought they were perfect and “had it all together”. Yes it’s good to desire a good man who is saving himself for marriage-but don’t let that keep you from loving others and being graceful.

  • KelleyMFL

    If it is God’s will for a particular person to remain unmarried, then the person will desire to remain unmarried. It’s that simple. So many Christians needlessly wonder about this, as if God’s will is a big mystery. His will is not supposed to be a mystery to believers – it is revealed through His Word. Things are not hidden FROM us, they are hidden FOR us. Our part is to dig into the Word and use the authority of His name – our God-given authority – to obtain what grace has made available through faith, and administer His will on this earth.

    This is in the same vein as Christians praying to be healed “if it’s His is will.” Healing is ALWAYS God’s will. Religion and tradition have taught us otherwise. However, all throughout the Bible we see the character and will of God revealed. We are not going to he healed – we’ve already been healed. We were healed 2,000 years ago when Jesus took all pain, sickness, disease – everything under the Curse – upon Himself. It is our responsibility to use our faith in order to obtain what grace has made available. Healing, peace, prosperity in every area of life – including your spouse – is already available.

    Not everything is “up to God” and He is not in control of things in this earth. When God created Adam and Eve, He gave them authority over the things of earth. By disobeying God, they handed that authority over to Satan. Jesus came, defeated death, hell, and the grave, and TOOK BACK all authority. When Jesus ascended, He left His authority – the authority of His name – with us. It is now up to us to carry out the will of God in the earth. We have the exact same authority over the things of earth that Jesus had when He was physically here.

    God gives us the desires of our hearts because, as we grow closer to Him through His Word, His desires become our desires. Our thinking and, therefore, our wills line up with His. If you want to marry (for the right reasons – not because you’re wanting another person to complete you) that means marriage is part of God’s plan for your life.