( Guest Post )

Have you ever thought, “I wish there was a manual on how to be a woman, on how to get and keep a man and becoming his wife?” There are so many books today on this subject, but all they teach are how to play games and manipulation tactics that are fleeting, and used as bait to “catch” a man.

Many of them teach the opposite of what a Godly woman truly looks like and if we are not careful we will end up following the ways of the world over Gods ways. Those books work if you want to attract a particular type of man, but it will not attract a good man, a husband, a man of God. Thank God He gave us a “manual” on all matters including becoming a Godly woman; a woman that is to be valued and cherished—a wife. That book is the Bible.

I can’t lie, I was blessed with an incredible mother. She taught me (by actions) what it looked like to be an incredible woman; sacrifice, honesty, kindness, patience, a spirit that won’t quit and that outside beauty would never compare to the beauty of your heart. There are so many who have not had an example of how to be a woman or a wife, more importantly a Biblical wife. We can no longer plead ignorance on the matter. No more excuses, we have all we need written clearly word for word.

BUT GOD, I WANT TO BE A WIFE!

God blesses us with marriage as a lasting commitment not as a fleeting romance. Some think that marriage is like buying a new pair of shoes. You know the overpriced, foot candy dripping with color and that high heel making you and your feet look like you just stepped right out of a glamour magazine? That is until you buy them, after you’ve put them on a credit card instead of working for, and patiently saving the money to purchase them.

Then the novelty fades, the trend changes and, well, you’re bored and to top it all off you’re broke, mad, and wanting a newer pair of shoes because your old Jimmy Choos are like garbage compared to the newest thing on the block. Marriage is not done to show off. It is not something to be used to show ourselves and others around us that we have value. It is not a trend. It is serious and not to be taken lightly.

In order to find a godly man, you must become a godly woman and godly women don’t become godly overnight. Let’s jump in and see what Gods Words says about some of the traits of a Godly Woman.

TRAITS OF A GODLY WOMAN:

• Noble Character (Proverbs 31:10, 29):

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”

no·ble adjective \ˈnō-bəl\ : having, showing, or coming from personal qualities that people admire (such as honesty, generosity, courage, etc.) (Merriam-webster). Or as KJV puts it: Great; elevated; dignified; being above everything that can dishonor reputation.

A great example of a woman in the Bible who exemplifies this quality is Ruth. Ruth is a true example of what a Proverbs 31 looks like. Boaz speaks directly to her about this trait, “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character (Ruth 3:11).” What speaks to me about this verse is, Ruth was not the one boasting about how noble of a woman she was, it was a quality that everyone saw in action and she was known for it.

Verse 29 states, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” A noble woman stands out. She surpasses the trends. She doesn’t just do noble things here and there, she is noble in the utmost core of her being.

• Works With Eager Hands (Proverbs 31:13,15-18,24,27):

I put these scriptures under the same categories because they speak about similar things, how a woman works. First off, she is not lazy. She doesn’t sit around eating bon bons watching Maury, while her husband works all day. She doesn’t huff and puff about working (whether working outside or inside the home). Scripture says she works with “eager hands” (vs. 13) she sets about her work “vigorously” (with strength and energy) (vs. 17), she gets up while it’s still dark (vs. 15) & works late into the night (vs. 18). This lady gets stuff done. She doesn’t sit idle if she is unemployed, she contributes to the household anyway she can scripture says, “she makes linen garments and sells them” (vs. 24). Also, “she watches over the affairs of her household” (vs. 27). Never a dull moment.

• Guards her mouth (Proverbs 31:26):

Verse 26 (NLV) says, “When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” She doesn’t speak about everything or on every topic. She guards her mouth with diligence to ensure that what comes out of it speaks life, uplifts and is covered in wisdom. She is kind in her speech and is careful with the words she chooses to use. This is a woman who is not spreading gossip or hearsay, but knows the importance and impact of her words and in turn guards her mouth.

For other verses on guarding your mouth see: Proverbs 21:23, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 12:18, Titus 3:2

• She gives to the needy (Proverbs 31:20)

Verse 20 says, “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands her hands to the needy.” She doesn’t just help the needy and give them the littlest help possible, but she embraces them and extends her hands. She gives them the most she can while loving them and making them feel seen and not invisible. She does not snub her nose at the needy while feeling she is over them.

She never just gives the least of what she can get away with to be seen as a Godly woman. Instead she gives the most and even more to those around her. This is a woman, who is not pretending to be a Godly woman, but at the core of her heart and being, she is and that is something that cannot be faked.

• She’s prepared (Proverbs 31:21-22):

“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

She is prepared. Her family has warm clothes ready in advance for the changing seasons. She does not wait until the season changes and then run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find a deal at target on warm clothes. She has planned ahead, so she has no fear or anxiety over the changing seasons in the weather or in life.

• Knows her beauty is not based on physical appearance (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-5):

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

This is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible. It teaches the absolute opposite of the world teaches. It teaches us that the most beautiful women in the world are beautiful because of their fear, reverence and love of the Lord. This trait is continual and does not change the way physical beauty does.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.”

Scripture is very clear on where we should place our value and it is not on physical appearance.

True beauty never fades, because true beauty is eternal and internal. This is not to say that we as women are not to take care of our physical appearance, we should take care of ourselves outwardly and internally. But, we must be cautious not to make external beauty an idol. The world tells us that the only way to be seen, valued and to become a wife is to look and act a certain way. That what the world sees as beautiful and sexy is a half-naked woman who flaunts certain body parts for attention.

Ladies, let me remind you, we are not of this world. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather be respected than have the wrong kind of attention, which usually is short-lived and fickle.

Guest post collaboration with Whole Magazine! Another wonderful online women’s ministry. Visit their website and say hello for us: http://www.wholemagazine.org