The house is finally quiet. I just loaded the dishwasher, moved the sprinkler and started some laundry. About 30 minutes ago I laid all three of my boys down for a nap and I am exhausted. They wear me out in good ways and in the really bad ways, like tantrums, fighting, crying, etc.
I grab my glass of iced water and sit down for a moment, the only moment in my day when I am completely and utterly alone. I feel my baby girl start moving in my tummy to let me know that she’s here with me even though this is the first thought I’ve given to her all day. Sometimes I forget that I’m 20 something weeks pregnant with my 4th child and first daughter.

I am 26 years old, and according to popular opinion, I should be enjoying summer break with friends at the beach or lake. I should have a cocktail in my hands while floating on the water or at least working in a nice, air-conditioned building with make up on and my hair done. I should be-but I’m not.

Instead, I am pregnant with our 4th child (3rd biological) in our 4th year of parenting and 5th year of marriage. My oldest son will soon be three, right before our newborn arrives. We live in a 2-bedroom house with a kitchen the size of an RV kitchen. I never get to do my hair or makeup; I rarely get to finish my morning cup of coffee and I most certainly don’t get to float in a pool.

But guess what, I exchanged all of that for something more worthwhile when I married a good, good man. He works so hard to provide for our now family of 6. I gave all of that up when I decided to quit my job and be a mom and have babies. I gave it up knowing that I was investing in my future, my husband’s future and my children’s future. I know that they need me. They need me more than anything and especially right now.

I want to be the center of my home, giving off light and love.

I want to have a beautiful, thriving home even if it’s tiny and messy; at least there will always be yummy, home cooked meals, flowers on the table, music in the air and hopefully a smile on my face (it depends on the day sometimes).

My job is hard. I am not going to sugar coat it.

Having three babies under the age three right now is particularly challenging but surprisingly so manageable. Every day is different, but because I lean into Jesus in the morning and because I ask Him what I need to do every day, we find a rhythm. We find a way to get through the day. And let me tell you, most days my life does not seem very rewarding.

There are more meltdowns and tears than there are the big, beautiful smiles of obedience from my toddler. There are more messes than there are blissfully clean parts of my house. There are more times of me silently cursing under my breath than there are prayers being sent up.

But I know it is just a season.

And that is why I don’t want to just make it through my day or hurry through the baby years. I don’t want to miss this time of my life or spend it grudgingly just because it is hard. Also, who said that hard is synonymous with BAD? My life is not bad. My life is not over. My life is not something anyone should be afraid of or put off by. My life is amazing and beautiful and unique and a strenuous journey but an extremely adventurous one.

If you are in a similar situation, I’d like to say one thing: please do not think for one moment that because motherhood is hard that it is bad.

One day, all the time that you spent training your two-year-old will pay off when he says please and thank you, when he loves someone who is less fortunate than him, when he quickly runs to open the door for someone.
One day, all the time that you spent at home making it beautiful, making it feel inviting and warm will pay off when your children are inspired to do the same or find a soulmate who also wants a home that reflects heaven.

We need to look at our calling in life through new eyes when we are having days when we feel like giving up.

There are so many days where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry or take a nap! The only way I can get back up again and love my babies (who may or may not have just thrown mac-n-cheese all over the dining room walls…again) is by taking a deep breath, looking up to Jesus, and whispering help. I ask Him for strength knowing that “when I am weak, He is strong” and that “His power is made perfect in my weaknesses” and that nothing and no one can separate me from his love and protection.

When we transform our thinking, we transform our day. When we recognize the devil and the thoughts that he plants in our minds we recognize where we need more protection and how to pray for it.

When we realize that no one’s opinion is invited into our homes other than Jesus’ opinion we realize how beautiful and special our home and children really are.

My favorite new quote that I find myself repeating often is from my Pastor, Louie Giglio, “We are not minimizing the storm, we are just maximizing the fact that Jesus is in the storm with us.” Don’t minimize your storm by making yourself feel more guilty, that you’re not strong enough for the challenges you’re facing, or you need to pray more, or you don’t have enough joy. Just know that Jesus is in the thick of it with you. It’s so encouraging to know that Jesus knows exactly what you’re going through because He knows you so well.

A lot of times we try to share our feelings or our circumstances with others only to be met with quick Bible answers or easy encouragement or worst of all, more judgment! But there is Someone who knows exactly how you feel and aren’t we lucky that this Someone is the One who holds all of the answers to our problems? He is waiting with wisdom, He is sitting at the tea table ready with peace that passes all understanding, He is at the edge of your bed ready to tuck you in with the rest that only He can give.

We can only be good mothers when we know who to turn to for help.

When we wash ourselves in God’s word, when we kneel before our King everyday with honest, real supplication we will be filled to the brim and we will be ready to pour into our family again, and again.

We aren’t minimizing the fact that our circumstances are hard or that there is a lot to think about, organize, clean, etc. We are instead maximizing the fact that Jesus is with us, holding our hand, helping us to clean, helping us to press on one more time, helping us stand up off the couch to pick up a crying toddler. He is in the storm. We only need to reach out to Him, after all, we are the ones who lose sight of Jesus. He never lets us out of His sight, but it is we who turn aside from Him.

We turn to things like food, or our phones when we are stressed. We let lies into our home and into our thoughts and that is where we need to stop the lies, catch them at the root when they are only a thought. Hand the lie over to Jesus and tell Him how you feel and that you need strength to combat the lie.

Transform your thoughts and your vision about your life as a mother and ask Jesus to speak the truth to you.

You are so strong.
You are raising the next generation and you’re doing great.
Your children love you.
Your husband is proud of you.
You will get through the hard days.
You are NOT a bad mom.
You are NOT a failure.
You are NOT going to ruin your kids.
You are a beautiful example to your friends and family.
You are a child of God.
Jesus is so proud of you and will never leave you or forsake you.

I encourage you to take the time to wash yourself in truth today, pick up your Bible and read your favorite Psalm with a cup of tea (or coffee, girl!). Turn on some music and go create some laughter with your kids! You are doing great.